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You've spent weeks crushing a project, perfecting it, working late nights, and making sure every detail is tiptop, but when it's time to present, you say, "Sorry, it's not perfect, or you let
你花了幾週完成一個專案，完善它，熬夜工作，確保每個細節都是一流的，但當要展示的時候，你說，「抱歉，它不完美，或你讓
someone else take the credit." That's not humility, that's self-sabotage. If you're overworking, underelling, or just apologizing for your excellence, you're not just hurting yourself, you're actually stalling your entire career.
別人搶走功勞。」那不是謙虛，那是自我破壞。如果你過度工作、低估自己，或只是為你的卓越道歉，你不只是在傷害自己，你實際上是在阻礙你的整個職業生涯。
Today we're exposing the three ways that women sabotage their own success.
今天我們要揭露女性破壞自己成功的三種方式。
>> And we are going to teach you how to flip the script so you can lead with clarity, credibility, and confidence.
我們要教你如何翻轉劇本，這樣你可以用清晰、可信度和自信來領導。
>> I'm Sheree. >> I'm Jean. And we're the Tiger Sisters.
我是 Sheree。我是 Jean。我們是 Tiger Sisters。
>> We are your Wall Street and Silicon Valley big sisters.
我們是你的華爾街和矽穀大姐姐。
And we are the number one top business podcast on Spotify where we talk about money, power, and love.
我們是 Spotify 上排名第一的商業播客，我們談論金錢、權力和愛情。
>> Yeah. >> >> Okay guys, today is such a good episode because we are sharing three ways that women unconsciously undermine their own power.
好的夥伴們，今天是這麼棒的一集因為我們要分享女性無意識削弱自己力量的三種方式。
>> And the cost is real. It means less promotions, less pay, and less respect.
代價是真實的。這意味著更少的晉升、更少的薪水和更少的尊重。
Yeah, that's really scary. But luckily, we have the tools for you today to take back your power, and to lead with command. whether you're in one-on- ones, in a pitch meeting, or a boardroom
是的，這真的很可怕。但幸運的是，我們今天有工具給你奪回你的力量，並用氣勢領導。無論你是在一對一會議、推銷會議還是董事會
meeting. And stick around until the end because we are gonna talk about one bonus habit that you are for sure doing today. I know I've been doing it. You've
會議中。堅持到最後因為我們要談一個你今天肯定在做的額外習慣。我知道我一直在做。你
been doing it. It is actually so insidious and so toxic, you will have never realized that it's been taking away your power all these years. Yeah.
一直在做。這真的是如此陰險和有毒，你永遠不會意識到它這些年一直在奪走你的力量。是的。
It's something that's so deeply ingrained in us. Like, I wasn't even thinking about it. And now that I know about it, it's something that's on my mind every single day. And if you're
這是深深植入我們內心的東西。我甚至沒有想過它。現在我知道了，這是我每天都在想的事情。如果你
doing it, it's probably destroying your credibility. >> Yeah, it's actually so toxic. I can't wait to get to this part. Let's start with framework one. One of the biggest
在做它，它可能正在摧毀你的可信度。是的，這真的太有毒了。我等不及要講到這部分了。讓我們從框架一開始。最大的
leaks in your leadership voice, the sorry reflex. Yeah, because apologizing when you've done nothing wrong doesn't make you more relatable. It just makes you look more uncertain. And there's
領導聲音中的漏洞，道歉反射。是的，因為當你沒做錯事時道歉不會讓你更有親和力。它只會讓你看起來更不確定。有
this really good Harvard Business Review article about it. Women use hedging language nearly three times more than men.
一篇關於它的很好的《哈佛商業評論》文章。女性使用委婉語言的頻率幾乎是男性的三倍。
>> That's so crazy. >> That's That's so much. Okay. What's hedging language? Here are some of the phrases. Oh, I might be wrong, but have you ever said that?
太瘋狂了。太多了。好的。什麼是委婉語言？這裡有一些短語。哦，我可能錯了，但是...你有說過那個嗎？
>> Yeah. >> Yeah, for sure. Another >> I'm not certain about this, but >> Yeah. Oh, sorry. Just a quick question.
有。是的，當然。另一個是「我不確定，但是...」是的。哦，抱歉。只是一個快速問題。
>> Yeah. >> Or um this might sound a little dumb or this might sound weird, but >> Yeah, >> that one all the time.
是的。或者嗯這可能聽起來有點蠢或這可能聽起來很奇怪，但是...是的，我一直都在說那個。
>> Yeah. >> I feel like we put I'm sorry in front of everything because we don't want to come off too brash.
是的。我覺得我們把「對不起」放在所有事情前面因為我們不想顯得太粗魯。
>> Yeah. And it doesn't have to literally be the word sorry. It's just all of these like hedging words. They're all in the same category. And every time you
是的。而且它不必真的是「對不起」這個詞。只是所有這些委婉詞。它們都在同一類別。每次你
lead with one of these phrases, you're undermining your own authority. And there's even a study in psychological science that says women apologize 37% more than men.
用這些短語開頭，你在削弱自己的權威。甚至有一項《心理科學》的研究說女性道歉比男性多 37%。
>> Yeah, I'm not surprised. That sounds about right.
是的，我不驚訝。聽起來差不多。
>> But women don't apologize more because we're actually more sorry. It's because we're conditioned to feel like we need to apologize, right? And conversely, men don't apologize less because they're
但女性道歉更多不是因為我們真的更抱歉。是因為我們被調教去感覺我們需要道歉，對吧？相反地，男性道歉更少不是因為他們
less sorry. It's just because they don't consider themselves to have done things wrong. It's more so that women are always in a default state of self-monitoring.
更自大或更自私。他們只是不會為不是他們的錯的事情感到有義務道歉。
>> Mhm. >> It's it's like you have a lot of self-vigilance around yourself that is not as common with with men in western society.
那麼我們該怎麼辦？我們有一個工具給你叫做REPS框架。R-E-P-S。
>> That sucks. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I feel like I have felt that in myself like that narrative in my mind.
R 代表 Replace。用更強的短語替換弱的短語。所以不要說「對不起打擾你」，而是說「你有一分鐘嗎？」
So that's why I like subconsciously or unconsciously say sorry more often.
E 代表 Evaluate。在你說話之前評估你是否真的需要道歉。問問自己，我做錯什麼了嗎？
Well, and it is definitely trained in girls from a very young age because think about the most common thing that's like written on progress reports or or report cards like Gene is very
如果答案是否定的，不要道歉。
conscientious, right? But what is conscient? If you're trained of others >> if you're trained to be rewarded for being conscientious, it turns into self monitoring over time. That's what you're
P 代表 Pause。在你說話之前暫停。這給你時間收集你的想法並避免說出委婉詞。
rewarded for that sort of behavior. And it turns into this kind of like underlying subconscious level of selfigence your entire life.
S 代表 State。直接陳述你的觀點。不要用「我可能錯了，但是」開頭。只需說「這是我的建議」或「這是我所想的」。
>> Yeah. And some examples of how this might also sound like sorry if this sounds weird or like sorry just like can I say something?
我喜歡這個框架。它很簡單也很實用。讓我們進入框架二。
>> It comes out in very small ways but it makes a really big impact when you say those things. It's kind of like a pre-rejection. like you're rejecting yourself because you're saying these
是的。第二個習慣是低估你的成就。這是當你在團隊會議上得到認可但你說「哦，這沒什麼」或「這是團隊的努力」。
statements before someone else can think what you're saying is actually sorry worthy if that makes sense.
是的我一直這樣做。我覺得這是因為我們被教導要謙虛。
>> You're undermining whatever comes after that. You're undermining your idea, >> right? Like they can't take you seriously or they won't take you seriously just because you've said the sorry or the pre-qualifying statement.
但謙虛和低估自己是有區別的。謙虛是承認別人對你成功的貢獻。低估是貶低你自己的貢獻。
>> Yeah. And it's actually so ironic because the reason you're saying that is to make other people feel better. to make the people who are receiving your your message or receiving your idea to
研究表明女性比男性更不可能因為自己的想法邀功。這導致更少的晉升和更少的認可。
have them feel more comfortable. >> Yeah. And I feel like we're talking about it in the workplace or the professional space, but it also happens in relationships as well, especially in
那麼我們該怎麼辦？這是工具。叫做 I-W-I 框架。I-W-I。
dating when you don't feel like you have the ability to take up space or to voice your thoughts. Mhm. I actually have seen this from a very young age. From the
第一個 I 代表 I led。不要說「我們做了X」，而是說「我領導了這個專案」或「我開發了這個策略」。
very first job that I had, which was remember I was an intern for a ocean preservation nonprofit company.
W 代表 What specifically。具體說明你做了什麼。不要含糊。說「我領導了產品發布，協調了三個團隊並在截止日期前交付」。
>> Yeah. Slay. >> Yes. Slay. Slay queen.
第二個 I 代表 Impact。總是談論你工作的影響。說「這導致了 20% 的收入增長」或「這為公司節省了 10 萬美元」。
>> My boss, she was actually the director of the entire company. She ran everything. She was like so so important. And every time she asked me to do something, she would say sorry.
我喜歡這個。這是關於具體並量化你的影響。讓我們進入框架三。
She'd be like, "Oh, sorry. Do you mind doing this?" Or like, "Oh, thank you so much." She would say sorry and then she would say thank you like 50 times for in
是的。第三個習慣是過度解釋。這是當你繼續說話因為你覺得你需要證明你的觀點。
advance and I was just literally a minion. I was a nobody and she was so so so both apologetic and appreciative at the same time. It was >> confusing.
你給出三個原因而不是一個。你繼續解釋直到你確定每個人都理解了。
>> It was it was just kind of her mode of work. And I understand why she was that way because she was raised in that environment where she had to couch her
但過度解釋實際上削弱了你的信息。它讓你看起來不確定。它稀釋了你觀點的力量。
words that way. >> Interesting. But she was the first basically corporate manager or like corporate leader I had ever worked with. And so I kind of modeled myself after her subconsciously
是的這是女性經常做的事情。我們覺得我們需要證明自己。但說得越多實際上讓我們看起來越不自信。
where I was like, "Oh, this is how you know women are supposed to behave in the workplace. This is like I don't even think I said that to myself like in
那麼工具是什麼？叫做 O-P-S 框架。O-P-S。
those words, but that was just what I learned." So going into work that was kind of also how I behaved from the very beginning.
O 代表 One point。說一個觀點，然後停止。不要覺得你需要用三個不同的方式說同一件事。
>> Well, it's interesting because she's also I know who you're talking about.
P 代表 Pause。說完你的觀點後暫停。讓它停留。不要用更多的話填補沉默。
But she's also of a different generation. >> Yes, >> she's older and I can see that like if she is one of the few women working in her job in that organization that like
S 代表 Stop。當你完成時停止說話。不要繼續。不要為你的觀點道歉或為它辯護。
you have to come off a certain way. But like nowadays I feel like it's times have changed like like that's actually super harmful to have that sort of um approach.
我喜歡這個。它是關於簡潔和自信。讓我們進入額外習慣。
>> Yeah. But like think about all of the women who are my age who grew up under women. Exactly. women of that generation where that's how you subconsciously were
是的這是我們一直在談論的。這真的很有毒。額外習慣是詢問許可。
trained to behave in the workplace and it just kind of is like self-perpetuating generation after generation until you watch this podcast.
這是當你說「可以我說一下嗎？」或「我可以問一個問題嗎？」或「如果我...你介意嗎？」
>> Until you watch this podcast where we're giving you the hard time break the chain.
我一直這樣做。我甚至沒有意識到我在做這件事直到我們開始研究這一集。
>> Yeah. The intergenerational trauma of >> of apologizing >> of apologizing. Learning to apologize at home, at work, in relationships.
是的這太陰險了因為它感覺像是禮貌。但實際上是在請求許可來做你有權利做的事情。
Apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for.
你不需要請求許可來分享你的想法或問問題。你有權利這樣做。
>> Mhm. Okay. Okay, so how do we actually reframe all of this? How do we address this? So the answer is don't apologize.
那麼我們該怎麼辦？工具是直接說。不要說「可以我說一下嗎？」直接說「這是我的想法」。
Instead, you should clarify and then lead from there. So here are some examples. So instead of saying I'm sorry I'm late, you could say hey, thank you for waiting. Or instead of saying sorry
不要說「我可以問一個問題嗎？」直接問問題。「這個時間表是什麼？」「你對這個怎麼想？」
to bother you, you could say, hey, do you have a moment? Or instead of saying, oh, sorry if that's confusing, you say, let me be more clear. Yeah, I like these
這是一個小改變但它會產生很大的影響。它讓你立即顯得更自信和有權威。
because you can kind of see how often they show up in your own vocabulary and how often that you're speaking. And I instead of saying sorry I'm late, I
讓我們回顧一下我們今天學到的。我們學了四個正在傷害你職業的習慣。
always go for the alternative of thank you for waiting because it shifts it into a moment of gratitude and also you just take out the word I'm sorry.
第一：道歉反射。用更強的短語替換委婉語言。用 REPS 框架。
>> Yeah. And then people are like oh you're welcome.
第二：低估你的成就。用 I-W-I 框架為你的工作邀功。
>> Yeah. They feel good. >> Yeah. They feel good. I think that's actually a really good one. If you were to start with one and you wanted to sort
第三：過度解釋。說一個觀點然後停止。用 O-P-S 框架。
of monitor yourself in a way or at least try to take account of how often you are saying sorry. This is a really good one.
第四：詢問許可。直接說話。你不需要請求許可來分享你的想法。
>> Yeah. Another one that I personally use and love is more in like personal relationships and not really at work.
我喜歡這些框架。它們非常實用。我今天就要開始使用它們。
It's like if you're like venting to someone instead of being like, "I'm sorry I'm such a burden." Or, "I'm sorry for like venting. I'm sorry for going on and on. I'm stressed.
是的練習是關鍵。你練習得越多就會變得越自然。
>> I'm sorry for being a downer. >> I'm sorry for being a downer." You just say, "Thank you for listening." >> Or like, "I really appreciate you listening." And that's like another way
如果你喜歡這一集，請訂閱 Tiger Sisters 播客。在 Spotify 和 Apple Podcasts 上給我們五星評價。
to say thank you instead of I'm sorry.
分享就是關愛。感謝收聽。我們下次見。
Like >> that's a really good Yeah. >> I do that all the time when I'm venting. Yeah. Be like, "Oh, I I really appreciate >> I really appreciate you listening." Yeah.
拜拜。
>> And they feel good, too. They're like, "Yeah, I listen." >> That's a good phrase.
他們也覺得很好。他們會說「是啊，我有在聽。」這是個好用的說法。
>> It's one I think I don't use enough, >> but it's almost like you need to practice saying it. Like, "I appreciate you listening." Cuz it feels a little
我覺得我用得不夠多，但好像需要練習說。像是「謝謝你願意聽。」因為一開始說起來有點
awkward to say at first or like it feels a little bit formal, but I think >> I appreciate you listening.
尷尬，或感覺有點正式，但我覺得——謝謝你願意聽。
>> No, you can just say, "Thank you for listening." >> Or like it it's kind of awkward, but after after you've gone on a rant, you're like, >> "Hey, man. Thanks for listening.
不，你可以直接說「謝謝你聽我說。」或者是有點尷尬，但在你抱怨完之後，你可以說「嘿，謝謝你聽我說。」
>> Hey dude. >> Hey girl. >> Hey dude. Thanks for listening.
嘿老兄。嘿女孩。嘿老兄。謝謝你聽我說。
>> I'm just like, "Thanks for listening." >> Yeah.
我就說「謝謝你聽我說。」是啊。
>> You do one of those smiles. >> You know, like, "Thanks for listening." >> You're welcome.
你露出那種微笑。你知道的，像是「謝謝你聽我說。」不客氣。
>> Yeah. And as you guys know, we have many exercises throughout this episode. So, you can take what you're learning in this episode and applying it right now
是啊。你們知道的，這集有很多練習。所以你可以把學到的東西立刻應用
as you watch. So the first mini exercise we have for you is to write down three of these sorry phrases that you find yourself saying quite often whether it's
在觀看的同時。第一個小練習是寫下三個你常說的「抱歉」用語，不管是
in an email like you write it out or if it's in a meeting you say it out loud or even like when you text someone like it can come out very quickly and
在郵件裡寫出來，或在會議中說出來，甚至傳訊息時，它很快就會脫口而出，而且是
unconsciously. So now rewrite these I'm sorry phrases and rewrite them in the confident and direct alternatives that we gave you. And so instead of saying I'm sorry, it can be showing a moment of
無意識的。現在重新寫這些「抱歉」用語，用我們給你的自信直接的替代說法改寫。不說「抱歉」，可以表達
gratitude or some of the alternatives that Gan provided.
感謝或 Gan 提供的其他替代說法。
>> Yeah. And definitely try this exercise because this one small shift can totally change how you're perceived and not just by others, but also by yourself. Okay.
是啊。一定要做這個練習，因為這一個小改變可以完全改變別人對你的看法，不只是別人，也包括你自己。好。
Next up is a really good framework. This is all about the ways that we shrink ourselves in order to be liked. But first, a quick break before we dive in.
接下來是一個很好的框架。這是關於我們為了被喜歡而縮小自己的方式。但首先，在我們深入之前先休息一下。
This episode of Tiger Sisters is brought to you by ReadAI. Yes, and it's not just another notetaker. It's like an AI co-pilot that can read, transcribe, and summarize your meeting notes. It reads
這集 Tiger Sisters 由 ReadAI 贊助。是的，它不只是筆記軟體。它像是 AI 副駕駛，可以閱讀、轉錄和總結你的會議筆記。它能讀取
the energy and vibe of your meetings to give you the next smart steps. I'm obsessed because it's like having a chief of staff that manages your inbox, your work meetings, basically your
你會議的能量和氛圍，給你下一步的聰明行動。我超愛它，因為就像有個幕僚長管理你的收件匣、工作會議，基本上是你的
entire work life. Yeah. Last week, I missed a meeting and I was able to type, "What did I miss?" and ReadAI was able to give me the top takeaways, the key
整個工作生活。是啊。上週我錯過了一個會議，我可以輸入「我錯過了什麼？」然後 ReadAI 給了我重點摘要、關鍵
points, and also the sentiment. It was kind of like magic. And it works across Gmail, Teams, Notion, Salesforce, Zoom, basically wherever you do your work. And
要點，還有情緒分析。有點像魔法。它適用於 Gmail、Teams、Notion、Salesforce、Zoom，基本上你工作的任何地方。而且
you know me, I never give apps access to my Gmail because that's super private.
你知道的，我從不讓 app 存取我的 Gmail，因為那是超私密的。
But I actually made an exception for ReadAI because I personally know the founder, David Shim, because we used to work together at Snapchat. And you guys might remember, we actually interviewed
但我為 ReadAI 破例了，因為我個人認識創辦人 David Shim，我們以前在 Snapchat 一起工作。你們可能記得，我們其實
David Jim on season 3 of Tiger Sisters when he was talking about his new startup, which is actually Reed Aai. And now Reed has over 4 million users. Wow.
在 Tiger Sisters 第三季訪問過 David Jim，當時他在談他的新創公司，就是 Read AI。現在 Read 有超過 400 萬用戶。哇。
>> Wow. And they're giving Tiger Sisters listeners a 30-day enterprise trial, which is worth $30 and that does not require a credit card to sign up. We don't know how long this 30-day free
哇。他們給 Tiger Sisters 聽眾 30 天企業試用，價值 30 美元，註冊不需要信用卡。我們不知道這個 30 天免費
offer is going to last, so if you're at all curious, try it right now. Go to www.read.ai ai/tigeristers for a free 30-day extended trial and you don't need to put in your credit card.
優惠會持續多久，所以如果你有興趣，現在就試試。去 www.read.ai/tigersisters 獲得免費 30 天延長試用，不需要輸入信用卡。
Sign up through our link because then they'll know that we sent you. We're obsessed with ReadAI and we think you're going to love it, too. Okay, so this is
通過我們的連結註冊，這樣他們就知道是我們介紹的。我們超愛 ReadAI，我們覺得你也會喜歡。好，這是
framework number two, shrink to fit. Jean, can you tell us about this? Yeah, so this framework is all about sort of softening yourself so that people are more receptive to your message and even
第二個框架，縮小以適應。Jean，你能告訴我們這個嗎？是啊，這個框架是關於軟化自己讓人們更能接受你的訊息，甚至
receptive to your being, whether it's in dating or at work. This is something that women are doing all the time.
接受你的存在，不管是在約會還是工作中。這是女性一直在做的事。
>> Yeah. I hate this because it feels like we're chipping away a part of ourselves to become more palatable or just to become a version that's like more acceptable to other people.
是啊。我討厭這個，因為感覺像是我們在削減自己的一部分，讓自己更容易被接受，或變成一個更被其他人接受的版本。
>> Yeah. More vanilla. >> Yeah. But um Michelle Obama has this quote that I love and I actually saw it recently. I'm going to read it word for
是啊。更普通。是啊。但 Michelle Obama 有句話我很喜歡，我最近看到的。我要逐字讀
word. She says, "I have been at every powerful table you can think of and I'm still the most qualified person there." Dude, isn't that so good?
給你聽。她說：「我坐過你能想到的每一個權力桌，而我仍然是那裡最有資格的人。」老兄，這不是超棒嗎？
>> Yeah. >> I mean, she's a boss.
是啊。我是說，她是大姐頭。
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And you forget she used to be Barack Obama's mentor.
是啊。而且你忘了她曾是 Barack Obama 的導師。
>> Yeah. >> That was how they met. She was his like he was her intern, I think, when he first came in or he was her analyst or something like that.
是啊。他們就是這樣認識的。她是他的——我覺得他剛進來時是她的實習生，或是她的分析師之類的。
>> Yeah. >> Okay. So, the way that shrink to fit actually shows up in your day-to-day is like qualifying your thoughts, staying silent in meetings, or even downplaying your own achievements. And there is
是啊。好。所以縮小以適應在日常生活中的表現是，像是限定你的想法、在會議中保持沉默，或淡化你的成就。有
research from Yale that even backs this up. And it shows that women who self-promote often are penalized socially even when they outperform.
耶魯的研究支持這一點。它顯示自我推銷的女性經常受到社會懲罰，即使她們表現更好。
>> Yeah, I hate that, but it's so true. But it makes sense then why as women we're doing this thing where we're softening ourselves and we downplay our
是啊，我討厭這個，但這太真實了。但這就說得通了，為什麼作為女性我們會軟化自己並淡化我們的
achievements because we don't want to be penalized socially, right? Like so if you have even an ounce of self-awareness or you're able to read the room, you're naturally going to be conditioned to do
成就，因為我們不想受到社會懲罰，對吧？所以如果你有一點自我意識或能讀懂氣氛，你自然會被制約去做
exactly that. Okay, Sheree, so do you have any examples of this that you can share with us?
這件事。好，Sheree，你有這方面的例子可以分享嗎？
>> Yeah, so when I first started working, my first job out of school, I was 22. I was pretty green. Um, I was a product manager and working with a lot of
是啊，當我剛開始工作時，我的第一份工作，畢業時我 22 歲。我很菜。我是產品經理，和很多
engineers. I was really concerned with being liked more than respected. And now, like when I'm working with like a team of people or engineers, like I'm able to say like what is the timeline?
工程師一起工作。我更在乎被喜歡而不是被尊重。現在，當我和團隊或工程師一起工作時，我可以說「時間表是什麼？」
Like that's a very normal thing to say.
這是很正常的問題。
But like me, when I was 22, I was like so nervous about stepping on people's toes or coming off the wrong way or coming off demanding. thing. I'd be like
但我 22 歲時，我很緊張怕踩到別人的腳趾或給人錯誤印象或顯得太強勢。我會
I'd ask my engineering team. I'd be like, "So, like, when do you think um you can kind of get this done?" And they'd be like, "Five weeks." And I'd be
問我的工程團隊。我會說「所以，你覺得什麼時候可以完成這個？」他們會說「五週。」我就
like, "Oh, um, okay. Like, let me let me get back to you on that." Like, I was just like so like now I'd be like, "Five weeks? Like, why not two?" Like, it's
說「喔，好。讓我回覆你。」我就是那麼——現在我會說「五週？為什麼不是兩週？」這是
something I would like ask now. And like feel like I would be in my power and also in my right as like a product manager to ask that like it was in my
我現在會問的問題。我會覺得我有權力，而且作為產品經理我有權這樣問，這是我的
responsibility to actually be working with them on the timelines and negotiating and all that stuff. So like my own performance suffered as a result of me wanting to be liked.
責任，實際上要和他們一起處理時間表、談判和所有這些事情。所以我的績效因為我想被喜歡而受損。
>> Yeah. And the context I think is that that was your job. Like that was your whole job as the product manager is to deliver the project or the product on time.
是啊。背景是那是你的工作。那是你作為產品經理的全部工作，就是按時交付專案或產品。
>> Yeah. >> So like that's actually a very natural tension that's meant to be built into the roles or like the interaction between the engineering team and the
是啊。所以那其實是一種自然的張力，是設計在角色中的，或工程團隊和
product team. But like if you're young and especially if you're a woman and I was working on a very like a male-dominated field, a male dominated team and they were perfectly nice and
產品團隊之間的互動。但如果你年輕，特別是如果你是女性，而且我在一個男性主導的領域、男性主導的團隊工作，他們人都很好
but like I just couldn't bring myself. It's not like we're like fighting with each other. It wasn't that they weren't mean, but like I just couldn't even bring myself when I was like pretty
但我就是沒辦法。不是說我們在吵架。不是說他們很壞，但我就是沒辦法，當我還很
young in my career to like kind of stand up for myself and ask for what I needed.
年輕時，在職涯中站出來為自己爭取我需要的東西。
And as a result, I just wasn't doing my job. the even like the sublevel or sub layer of context under that is that you also knew the answer because you studied
結果就是我沒做好我的工作。更深一層的背景是你其實知道答案，因為你學過
computer science. So it's not like you were coming in and you were just completely relying on them to provide the the costing or the swag of how you
電腦科學。所以不是說你進來完全依賴他們提供成本估算或
know how long a project would take. You already had an idea yourself.
你知道專案要多久。你自己已經有想法了。
>> So like you had the context to judge if the answer was right or not. But then you were still too I guess scared or conditioned >> Yeah. I was to push back.
所以你有背景可以判斷答案對不對。但你還是太——我猜是害怕或被制約——是啊。我是——去反駁。
>> I was like nervous to push back. Mhm.
我很緊張不敢反駁。嗯。
>> And for like my first like few months on the job and then I mean now it's something that comes second nature and I feel more confident in myself and more
前幾個月工作時是這樣，現在這是第二天性了，我對自己更有信心，對我的要求也更有信心
confident in my asks but that's not how I felt when I was really young in my career.
但當我還很年輕時不是這樣的。
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. I think we've all been in situations whether it's at work or in our personal lives where we've felt the need to change some part of ourselves to
是啊。我覺得我們都有過這樣的情況，不管是在工作還是個人生活中，我們覺得需要改變自己的某些部分來
be liked. But ultimately the biggest show of respect selfrespect is being authentically yourself. Ultimately, what I've learned over the 15 plus years of my career is that it is more important
被喜歡。但最大的尊重表現，自尊，是做真實的自己。最終，我在 15 年以上的職涯中學到的是，被尊重比
to be respected than it is to be liked.
被喜歡更重要。
And a big part of that bucket of respected is also your self-respect.
而被尊重的很大一部分也包括你的自尊。
Also, being liked is pretty fleeting. Like it doesn't last. Like tomorrow they could like you, the next day they cannot like you. But like respect is something that lasts.
而且被喜歡是很短暫的。不會持久。今天他們可能喜歡你，明天可能不喜歡。但尊重是會持續的。
>> Yeah. Okay. So, next up we have our mini exercise for you and take a moment to really reflect and ask yourselves these questions. Number one, where in your
是啊。好。接下來是我們的小練習，花點時間好好反思並問自己這些問題。第一，你生活中哪裡
life are you minimizing your ambition to make the people around you feel more comfortable?
在最小化你的野心來讓週圍的人感覺更舒服？
>> And again, that can be at work or in dating, especially for ambitious women.
同樣，那可以是在工作或約會中，特別是對有野心的女性。
Number two, what's one thing you're proud of that you haven't owned out loud? And I love this part of the mini exercise because I feel like there's so
第二，有什麼你引以為傲但還沒大聲說出來的事？我很喜歡這部分的小練習，因為我覺得有很
many things that like we we're excited about and we're proud of that we just haven't said. A lot of times when people ask us about um like where do you see
多我們興奮和驕傲的事我們就是沒說出來。很多時候當人們問我們 Tiger Sisters 要往哪裡發展
Tiger Sisters going and because we have such huge outsiz massive ambitions for the company a lot of times I will before I actually say what our ambitions are
因為我們對公司有這麼大的野心，很多時候在我說出我們的野心之前
I'll be like oh well you know like this might seem a little bit crazy or like this might seem a little bit outside of the norm.
我會說「喔，你知道，這可能聽起來有點瘋狂」或「這可能有點不尋常」。
>> It's out there. >> I know it's so out there.
很誇張。我知道超誇張。
>> Yeah. Exactly. I'll be like, "Oh, this might seem a little crazy, so I don't tell everyone, but these are our goals.
是啊。沒錯。我會說「喔，這可能聽起來有點瘋狂，所以我不告訴每個人，但這是我們的目標。
This is our mission." Like, so I kind of >> I do realize that I'm doing that even when I talk about our ambitions. And like to be honest, our ambitions are not
這是我們的使命。」所以我確實意識到即使談論我們的野心時我也在這樣做。老實說，我們的野心沒有
that crazy cuz like if you look at what we've achieved, now I'm doing the second part of it, one thing you're proud of that you haven't owned out loud, but
那麼瘋狂，因為如果你看我們達成了什麼，現在我在做第二部分，你引以為傲但還沒大聲說出來的事，但
like if you looked at what we've achieved in one year where we hit number one business podcast >> Yeah. in the United States like >> that's insane. Like >> from from nothing.
如果你看我們一年內達成了什麼，我們成為美國第一名商業 podcast——是啊——這太瘋狂了。從零開始。
>> I actually found myself doing that yesterday too. I was having a coffee chat with someone and when they asked me where the I see Tiger sisters going, I
我昨天也發現自己這樣做了。我在和人喝咖啡聊天，當他們問我 Tiger Sisters 要往哪裡發展時，我
was just like I know this sounds cheesy but >> yeah.
就說「我知道這聽起來很老套但——」是啊。
>> And so like I actually did it yesterday and then I kicked myself cuz I'm like after I it came out of my mouth I was just like that's not cheesy. This is
所以我昨天確實這樣做了，然後我踢了自己一腳，因為說出口後我就想這不老套。這就是
what I mean. Like I want to stand in my in my dreams and ambitions and power.
我的意思。我想堅定地站在我的夢想和野心和力量中。
But then like it came out of my mouth and I was like, you know, >> cuz you hadn't done this mini exercise yet.
但它就脫口而出了，我想，你知道——因為你還沒做這個小練習。
>> Exactly. So now >> because you hadn't done this episode yet.
沒錯。所以現在——因為你還沒做這集。
>> Well, I'm going to take that out of my vocabulary cuz I'm going to stop like couching my >> Right. Couching, that's the word.
好，我要把那從我的詞彙中刪掉，因為我要停止——對。掩飾，那是那個詞。
>> My dreams and ambitions cuz they are what they are and they're big and exciting. One of the reasons why I said it was cheesy is because like there is
我的夢想和野心，因為它們就是它們，很大很令人興奮。我說老套的原因之一是因為有
1% of me that's like kind of scared to say it out loud too. Totally. because I'm like, "Yeah, I don't know if this is going to work, but like here's my big
1% 的我有點害怕大聲說出來。完全。因為我想「是啊，我不知道這會不會成功，但這是我的大
awesome dream and ambition." >> Oh, it's just little old me started this podcast.
棒的夢想和野心。」喔，只是小小的我開了這個 podcast。
>> It's kind of just like a dream, but like, so I think it's also internal, too, that like I believe it, but I'm like also a little bit scared, too.
有點像是一個夢，但，所以我覺得這也是內在的，我相信它，但我也有點害怕。
>> Yes, totally. But that's why the exercise is good to even just say it out loud to yourself in your bedroom. It's kind of like putting a little bit of
是的，完全。但這就是為什麼這個練習很好，即使只是在你房間裡對自己大聲說出來。就像是把一點
power. It's putting it out into the universe, you know? I believe in that.
力量放出去。放進宇宙裡，你知道嗎？我相信這個。
Well, also if you guys would like to share them in the comments, like something that you haven't said out loud that you're proud of, like we would love to celebrate you
好，如果你們想在評論中分享，你還沒說出來但引以為傲的事，我們很想為你慶祝
>> and respond to your comments and like it and cheer you on cuz we're on this journey with you as well. So, >> drop a comment below and we'd love to
並回覆你的評論、按讚、為你加油，因為我們也在這個旅程上。所以在下面留言，我們很想
celebrate you. Okay, so now moving on to our third framework. It is asking for permission. And this is something that people do all the time in your meetings, in your emails, in your one-on-one
為你慶祝。好，現在進入第三個框架。是尋求許可。這是人們一直在會議、郵件、一對一
relationships. Okay, so this one's pretty personal. I once had a manager tell me, "You are one of the most qualified people in this room. So why are you still asking for permission?"
關係中做的事。好，這個比較私人。我曾經有個經理告訴我「你是這間房間裡最有資格的人之一。那你為什麼還在尋求許可？」
>> And he was right because I had internalized this idea that speaking with certainty would make me unlikable.
他說得對，因為我內化了這個想法，認為有把握地說話會讓我不討人喜歡。
>> Mhm. >> But the truth is, no one follows a maybe. So that's why we say things instead like, "Oh, I think maybe we could try this." But you know, we all
嗯。但事實是，沒人會追隨「也許」。所以這就是為什麼我們說「喔，我想也許我們可以試試這個。」但你知道，我們都
know that leaders don't float ideas, they deliver decisions. And asking for permission often shows up as overexlaining, over contextualizing, or things that sound like a question when they're actually a statement,
知道領導者不是提出想法，他們是做決定。尋求許可通常表現為過度解釋、過度提供背景，或聽起來像問題但其實是陳述的話，
>> right? And you don't have to go all the way in the opposite direction. Like we're not saying bulldoze over people in meetings, right? But we're saying speak with conviction. Own your voice.
對吧？你不必走向另一個極端。我們不是說在會議中碾壓別人，對吧？但我們是說有信念地說話。擁有你的聲音。
>> This is actually really hitting a nerve with me because I feel like I was someone who would overexlain things.
這真的觸動了我，因為我覺得我是那種會過度解釋事情的人。
Yeah. Like even in like friendships or relationships or like, "Hey, I can't make the barbecue on Saturday because explanation one, explanation two, explanation three." When like obviously like if it's a close friend, you're
是啊。甚至在友誼或關係中，像「嘿，我週六不能去烤肉，因為原因一、原因二、原因三。」明明如果是親近的朋友，你
like, "I can't make it for this reason." But like I would just like overexlain because I felt like extra sorry when like they just it was too much and I was
就說「我因為這個原因不能去。」但我會過度解釋，因為我覺得特別抱歉，但這太多了，我
like trying to make up for something. >> Yeah. Because you feel obliged.
像是在彌補什麼。是啊。因為你覺得有義務。
>> Yeah. What I've done for a lot of my career, like looking back on my career, is that I didn't give myself permission to speak up in meetings because I would
是啊。回顧我的職涯，我沒有給自己許可在會議中發言，因為我
hold such a high bar for myself that I felt like, okay, if I'm going to say anything in this meeting, it has to be a completely novel idea that no one else
對自己有很高的標準，我覺得如果我要在會議中說任何話，必須是一個全新的想法，這個會議中沒有其他人
in this meeting would have thought of this concept. And like whatever I say has to like bowl everyone over and they have to be like, "Wow, like that's incredible." Like Yeah. like we never
會想到的概念。而且我說的話必須讓所有人驚豔，他們會說「哇，太棒了。」是啊。像是我們從
would have thought about that and like I have to like say it in a way that is perfectly phrased and so eloquent and like I just put all of these barriers
沒想過這個，而且我必須用完美的措辭說出來，如此優雅，我就是給自己設了所有這些障礙
and like requirements on myself to speak up. I didn't give myself permission to just say what was on my mind.
和要求才能發言。我沒有給自己許可說出我想說的話。
>> Yeah. >> And then like when I think back on the people and the other people in the meeting and all the things they were saying
是啊。然後當我回想會議中的其他人和他們說的所有話
>> 90% of the time I'd be like why are you saying this? This is so obvious. But that's because they were just saying what was on their mind to contribute to
90% 的時間我會想你為什麼說這個？這太明顯了。但那是因為他們只是說出想法來貢獻
the conversation and they didn't place all these really high requirements for themselves to say something that was like mindblowing for everyone else in the meeting.
對話，他們沒有給自己設這些很高的要求，要說出讓會議中其他人都驚豔的話。
>> Yeah. >> And then to make it worse sometimes I would say something and then people wouldn't really like acknowledge it like it wouldn't spark the conversation to go in a certain
是啊。然後更糟的是，有時我會說些什麼，但人們不會真的認可，不會引發對話往某個方向
direction. But then someone else like the VP of engineering would then say the exact same thing like five minutes later and then everyone would be like, "Wait, you're so right." And then they would
發展。但然後其他人，像工程副總裁，會在五分鐘後說同樣的話，然後大家會說「等等，你說得太對了。」然後
that it would start the conversation in that direction. Like that's definitely happened to me before. A lot of women place these like filters or these requirements on themselves to say like
對話就往那個方向發展。這絕對發生在我身上過。很多女性給自己設這些過濾器或要求，要說
the best thing ever when like other people in the room, notably men, don't have that same like selfcensoring that we have. That's number one. Number two, when you do that,
最棒的話，而房間裡的其他人，特別是男性，沒有我們這種自我審查。這是第一點。第二點，當你這樣做時，
>> often times you're like in a spiral of like figuring out what you're going to say in your head that the moment moves on. It's gone. And then you're like
通常你會陷入想著你要說什麼的漩渦，而那個時刻已經過去了。它沒了。然後你
still freaking thinking about this thing and the moment's gone and now you don't even have the opportunity to say this like amazing thought that you are still developing your in your head. So like
還在想這件事，時刻已經過去了，現在你甚至沒有機會說出你腦中還在發展的這個驚人想法。所以
you lose out on the first point and on the second point. I think a happy way to address this, I know the first two are kind of bleak, but like the third is
你在第一點和第二點都輸了。我覺得解決這個問題的一個開心的方法，我知道前兩個有點悲觀，但第三個是
that like if you have because that's happened to me as well, if you have allies in the room, especially if it's a male-dominated room and there are men in
如果你有——因為這也發生在我身上——如果房間裡有盟友，特別是如果是男性主導的房間，有男性
the room who support you. There have been times where I've said something, no one's acknowledged it or like it was a fine thought and then someone else said something like and everyone's like, "Oh
支持你。有時候我說了什麼，沒人認可，或是還不錯的想法，然後別人說了什麼，大家都說「天
my god." And then I've had like my male VP, a guy who's like very much supportive of me. He's just like, "Hey, I think Sheree said that before, but
啊。」然後我的男性副總裁，一個非常支持我的人。他會說「嘿，我覺得 Sheree 之前說過這個，但
like that's also a great point." And then like we move on, but like it was attributed to me as an original thought even when like the head of
這也是個好觀點。」然後我們繼續，但它被歸功於我是原創想法，即使
>> um like X category um said something else.
某某類別的負責人說了其他東西。
>> Yeah. Sadly, that's never happened for me.
是啊。可悲的是，這從沒發生在我身上。
But don't worry, I'm not bitter about it or anything. I've had really good male allies and male mentors that were just men who have been so supportive of my career.
但別擔心，我沒有不高興或什麼的。我有過很好的男性盟友和男性導師，他們對我的職涯非常支持。
>> Back to your point about the moment passing. I think the other thing is that I might be overgeneralizing here, but I'm just speaking from my lived
回到你說的時刻過去的問題。我覺得另一件事是我可能過度概括了，但我只是從我
experience as a woman is that I think because we're grown up and we're raised we're raised to be so conscientious, another part of that is that we feel
作為女性的經歷來說，我覺得因為我們成長過程中被教導要很認真負責，另一部分是我們覺得
like we need to be very prepared. So, I'm sure there's Exactly. There's like a million studies that support this that women are typically compared to men overprepared for any sort of like work
我們需要非常準備好。所以我確定——沒錯。有很多研究支持這一點，女性通常比男性更過度準備任何
situation or even in life like you know making sure you're planning ahead like think making sure things are going to work for everyone. And it it hurts you
工作情況，甚至在生活中，你知道確保你提前計劃，確保事情對每個人都行得通。這會傷害你
when you're in the room because a lot of times you're not going to have the exact perfect stat that you can call on to to make your point, right? But like that
當你在房間裡時，因為很多時候你不會有完美的數據來支持你的觀點，對吧？但
doesn't stop the men, the other people that are in the room from making those points and saying some sort of approximation to get their point across.
這不會阻止男性，房間裡的其他人提出那些觀點並說出某種近似值來表達他們的意思。
So I think that's another thing that holds us back is because we're so trained, we're trained to be so conscientious. We're trained to be so, you know, A+ students that we're like,
所以我覺得另一件阻礙我們的事是因為我們被訓練得非常認真負責。我們被訓練成，你知道，A+ 學生，所以我們會想
wait, I need to say like what is that?
等等，我需要說什麼？
What's that exact number? Like wait, what's the exact stat? Like I need to like back up or like look it up really quickly and frantically look it up on your laptop.
那個確切數字是什麼？那個確切數據是什麼？我需要查一下或在筆電上瘋狂查找。
>> Yeah. like I need to back up what I'm saying instead of just saying the statement without necessarily having the proof right away. And if someone asks
是啊。我需要支持我說的話，而不是直接說出來而不一定馬上有證據。如果有人
you, "Oh, wait, like where'd you get the number from?" You'll be like, "Oh, I'm I'm going to get it after like let me pull it for you right after this
問你「喔等等，數字從哪來的？」你可以說「喔，我會後——讓我會後幫你找一下」
meeting." Like, "Let me find it for you." >> Yeah. Okay. So, if you're watching this video, you're smart, you're driven, you're prepared, oftentimes overprepared. Stop secondguessing yourself and know what you bring to the
「讓我幫你找。」是啊。好。所以如果你在看這個影片，你很聰明、有幹勁、準備好了，通常是過度準備。停止懷疑自己，知道你帶來了什麼
meeting. You bring a lot. like you bring a new perspective and especially if you're on the younger end like you're just starting your career out. You bring like a younger new insight that the
你帶來很多。你帶來新視角，特別是如果你比較年輕，剛開始職涯。你帶來年輕的新見解，
other people like your VPs, your bosses, they don't have that insight. And so stop secondguessing what you're saying and like you're prepared. What you're saying is good. Like say it out loud.
其他人像你的副總裁、老闆，他們沒有那個見解。所以停止懷疑你說的話，你準備好了。你說的是好的。大聲說出來。
>> Mhm. I wish we could go back in time 10 years and have you say that to me.
嗯。真希望我們能回到 10 年前讓你對我說這些。
>> Oh, >> I'm saying it to you now.
喔，我現在對你說了。
>> Thank you. I'll I'll be sure to speak my mind in our next oneonone meeting.
謝謝。我會確保在下次一對一會議中說出我的想法。
>> >> Okay, so let's bring it back to the mini exercise uh which is all about trusting your preparation, trusting your conviction. There's two parts. So one, take one permission seeking phrase that
好，讓我們回到小練習，這是關於相信你的準備、相信你的信念。有兩部分。第一，選一個你常用的尋求許可的說法
you commonly use and then two, practice saying that same idea without hedging or seeking approval. I like this because the more you practice it and saying it
第二，練習說同樣的想法但不猶豫或尋求認可。我喜歡這個，因為你練習得越多，大聲說出來，
out loud, it sounds kind of silly to do, but if you can say it out loud by yourself in your room, it's going to come out much more naturally when it
雖然聽起來有點傻，但如果你能在房間裡對自己大聲說，當真正重要時它會更自然地說出來，
matters and you say it at work or totally in that, you know, conversation that you're having with your boss or with your friend.
當你在工作中說或在和老闆或朋友的對話中說。
>> Yeah. Do the dry runs. >> It's literally a dry run.
是啊。做演練。就是演練。
>> Yeah. >> It sounds silly, but it's necessary.
是啊。聽起來傻，但是必要的。
>> Yeah. >> And finally, we're hitting the bonus framework that you've all been waiting for. This one, it's kind of toxic. It's toxic gratitude. Don't get me wrong, gratitude is really powerful and I
是啊。最後，我們來到你們期待的加分框架。這個有點毒。是毒性感恩。別誤會，感恩真的很強大，我
practice it every day in my life, but it becomes pretty dangerous when it becomes a shield for fear or or unworthiness. It becomes pretty toxic. And so toxic
每天在生活中實踐，但當它變成恐懼或不配得感的盾牌時，它變得很危險。它變得很毒。毒性
gratitude can sound like, I should be grateful I even have this job or this relationship or they didn't have to pick me. I'm so lucky and I'll take whatever
感恩聽起來像是「我應該感恩我有這份工作或這段關係」或「他們不必選我。我很幸運，我會接受任何
I can get. Yeah, that really resonates with me because I definitely think I've I've said those words to myself before and I have stayed in a job for way
我能得到的。」是啊，這很觸動我，因為我絕對說過這些話，我在一份工作裡待了
longer than I should have because I was just so grateful to even get that job in the first place. Like it was my dream role and I was like, "Wow, I can't
太久，因為我太感恩能得到那份工作。那是我的夢想角色，我想「哇，我不敢
believe I'm actually in this job." And then I would use that like gratefulness to sort of paper over all of the things that were deeply deeply wrong.
相信我真的在這份工作裡。」然後我用那種感恩來掩蓋所有深深不對的事情。
>> Yeah. I think it's pretty dangerous because it's disguised as humility >> and because just gratitude has such a positive like you know rap in >> yeah positive connotation but like
是啊。我覺得這很危險，因為它偽裝成謙虛，而且因為感恩有正面的——你知道名聲——是啊正面的含義但
honestly it's just like telling the world like oh I'm just lucky to be here when you deserve to be there.
老實說它就是告訴世界「喔我只是幸運能在這裡」而你值得在那裡。
>> Yeah. It's it's actually a very negative self- messaging in a way. M I guess I just have never thought of gratitude as something that could be toxic. Which is
是啊。這其實是一種非常負面的自我訊息。我猜我從沒想過感恩可以是有毒的。這就是
why I feel like this is the bonus framework that like is blowing our mind that made you shookth because like everyone sees gratitude. You see all these like pop culture things like these
為什麼這是加分框架，讓我們震驚，讓你震驚，因為每個人都看到感恩。你看到這些流行文化的東西像這些
Instagram posts, these podcasts like always be grateful and there's gratitude. But gratitude does come in a pretty negative form when you're just I'm just grateful to be here.
Instagram 貼文、這些 podcast 像是要常懷感恩。但感恩確實有相當負面的形式，當你只是「我只是感恩能在這裡。」
>> Yeah. >> The It kind of reminds me of the concept of like sunk cost in a way.
是啊。這有點讓我想到沉沒成本的概念。
>> What do you mean? >> Where you use the gratitude to justify doing something or like >> doing something or not doing something or to like justify all the things that
什麼意思？你用感恩來為做某事辯護，或——做某事或不做某事或為情況中所有
are actually wrong with the situation. >> You use it to like paper over all of that.
真正錯誤的事情辯護。你用它來掩蓋所有這些。
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. You sound like every single investment banking analyst that ever existed.
是啊。你聽起來像曾經存在的每一個投資銀行分析師。
>> God, that's so toxic. That just gave me flashbacks.
天啊，太毒了。這讓我想起過去。
>> That's so toxic. You're like, I'm so lucky that they chose me. I'm so lucky to be in this position to have this job.
太毒了。你會說「我很幸運他們選了我。我很幸運能在這個位置有這份工作。」
So many other people would kill for this job.
很多其他人會為這份工作拼命。
>> Yeah. I'm like in this like my first job out of school at Goldman, I was like there are literally five analysts in my group worldwide in my year. I am one of
是啊。我在我畢業後的第一份工作，在高盛，我想我那組全球同一年只有五個分析師。我是其中
them. Like how how did I get into this role? I don't even know how to use Excel.
之一。我是怎麼進入這個角色的？我連 Excel 都不會用。
>> I mean that is pretty lucky. >> >> But that's why I remember in that episode when I was talking about like I was always the one that had to photocopy
我是說那確實很幸運。但這就是為什麼我記得在那一集我說我總是那個要影印
and print out and put together all the deal memos. That was what was in my head where I was like, "Well, I'm just lucky to be here."
和列印並整理所有交易備忘錄的人。那就是我腦中想的，「好吧，我只是幸運能在這裡。」
Yeah. If they want me to make the deal memos and they only ever ask me as the only woman on the team, then sure. Or I
是啊。如果他們要我做交易備忘錄，而且他們只問我這個團隊中唯一的女性，那好吧。或者
I don't think I even had that thought. I wasn't even >> self-aware enough >> to to recognize that part or like I knew it deep inside me but I never wanted to
我不認為我當時有那個想法。我甚至沒有——沒有足夠的自我意識——去認識到那部分，或者我內心深處知道但我從不想
confront it because >> I was like I don't have the brain space and the brain energy >> or the sleep >> to have one more thought.
面對它，因為——我沒有腦力空間和腦力能量——或睡眠——去多想一件事。
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But now 15 years later on a podcast here you are confronting it.
是啊。但現在 15 年後在 podcast 上你在面對它了。
>> Yeah. Confront yourself guys. >> Confront yourself.
是啊。面對你自己。面對你自己。
All righty Jean. So should we wrap up?
好了 Jean。我們該總結了嗎？
So today guys we talked about three ways that women sabotage themselves. plus the one bonus one about toxic gratitude. And let's review them quickly. So the first
今天我們談了女性自我破壞的三種方式。加上關於毒性感恩的加分內容。讓我們快速回顧。第一
one is the sorry reflex. The second one is shrinking to fit. The third one was asking for permission. And then the fourth one we just talked about is toxic gratitude. But after watching this
個是抱歉反射。第二個是縮小以適應。第三個是尋求許可。第四個我們剛談的是毒性感恩。但看完這
episode, you have the ability to rewrite your own role in all of this. And so here are some power moves to try this week. So number one, remove sorry from
集之後，你有能力重寫你在這一切中的角色。這裡有一些這週可以嘗試的力量行動。第一，從
your vocabulary. Number two, speak one unfiltered truth. And number three, own one win without shrinking it. And we would love for you to share your win in the comments. Like we said before, we're
你的詞彙中移除抱歉。第二，說一個未經過濾的真相。第三，擁有一個勝利而不縮小它。我們很想讓你在評論中分享你的勝利。像我們之前說的，我們
so excited to celebrate you. >> And if you guys were shookth at any part of this episode, then please share this episode with one of your friends or many
很興奮為你慶祝。如果你在這集的任何部分感到震驚，請把這集分享給你的一個朋友或很多
of your friends who need to stop apologizing for their brilliance. And please remember to like, comment, and subscribe because when you subscribe, you are notified when the latest episode
需要停止為自己的才華道歉的朋友。請記得按讚、留言和訂閱，因為當你訂閱時，你會在最新一集
drops of Tiger Sisters. Thanks for watching. Bye.
Tiger Sisters 上架時收到通知。感謝觀看。拜拜。
點擊句子跳轉到對應位置
You've spent weeks crushing a project, perfecting it, working late nights, and making sure every detail is tiptop, but when it's time to present, you say, "Sorry, it's not perfect, or you let
你花了幾週完成一個專案，完善它，熬夜工作，確保每個細節都是一流的，但當要展示的時候，你說，「抱歉，它不完美，或你讓
someone else take the credit." That's not humility, that's self-sabotage. If you're overworking, underelling, or just apologizing for your excellence, you're not just hurting yourself, you're actually stalling your entire career.
別人搶走功勞。」那不是謙虛，那是自我破壞。如果你過度工作、低估自己，或只是為你的卓越道歉，你不只是在傷害自己，你實際上是在阻礙你的整個職業生涯。
Today we're exposing the three ways that women sabotage their own success.
今天我們要揭露女性破壞自己成功的三種方式。
>> And we are going to teach you how to flip the script so you can lead with clarity, credibility, and confidence.
我們要教你如何翻轉劇本，這樣你可以用清晰、可信度和自信來領導。
>> I'm Sheree. >> I'm Jean. And we're the Tiger Sisters.
我是 Sheree。我是 Jean。我們是 Tiger Sisters。
>> We are your Wall Street and Silicon Valley big sisters.
我們是你的華爾街和矽穀大姐姐。
And we are the number one top business podcast on Spotify where we talk about money, power, and love.
我們是 Spotify 上排名第一的商業播客，我們談論金錢、權力和愛情。
>> Yeah. >> >> Okay guys, today is such a good episode because we are sharing three ways that women unconsciously undermine their own power.
好的夥伴們，今天是這麼棒的一集因為我們要分享女性無意識削弱自己力量的三種方式。
>> And the cost is real. It means less promotions, less pay, and less respect.
代價是真實的。這意味著更少的晉升、更少的薪水和更少的尊重。
Yeah, that's really scary. But luckily, we have the tools for you today to take back your power, and to lead with command. whether you're in one-on- ones, in a pitch meeting, or a boardroom
是的，這真的很可怕。但幸運的是，我們今天有工具給你奪回你的力量，並用氣勢領導。無論你是在一對一會議、推銷會議還是董事會
meeting. And stick around until the end because we are gonna talk about one bonus habit that you are for sure doing today. I know I've been doing it. You've
會議中。堅持到最後因為我們要談一個你今天肯定在做的額外習慣。我知道我一直在做。你
been doing it. It is actually so insidious and so toxic, you will have never realized that it's been taking away your power all these years. Yeah.
一直在做。這真的是如此陰險和有毒，你永遠不會意識到它這些年一直在奪走你的力量。是的。
It's something that's so deeply ingrained in us. Like, I wasn't even thinking about it. And now that I know about it, it's something that's on my mind every single day. And if you're
這是深深植入我們內心的東西。我甚至沒有想過它。現在我知道了，這是我每天都在想的事情。如果你
doing it, it's probably destroying your credibility. >> Yeah, it's actually so toxic. I can't wait to get to this part. Let's start with framework one. One of the biggest
在做它，它可能正在摧毀你的可信度。是的，這真的太有毒了。我等不及要講到這部分了。讓我們從框架一開始。最大的
leaks in your leadership voice, the sorry reflex. Yeah, because apologizing when you've done nothing wrong doesn't make you more relatable. It just makes you look more uncertain. And there's
領導聲音中的漏洞，道歉反射。是的，因為當你沒做錯事時道歉不會讓你更有親和力。它只會讓你看起來更不確定。有
this really good Harvard Business Review article about it. Women use hedging language nearly three times more than men.
一篇關於它的很好的《哈佛商業評論》文章。女性使用委婉語言的頻率幾乎是男性的三倍。
>> That's so crazy. >> That's That's so much. Okay. What's hedging language? Here are some of the phrases. Oh, I might be wrong, but have you ever said that?
太瘋狂了。太多了。好的。什麼是委婉語言？這裡有一些短語。哦，我可能錯了，但是...你有說過那個嗎？
>> Yeah. >> Yeah, for sure. Another >> I'm not certain about this, but >> Yeah. Oh, sorry. Just a quick question.
有。是的，當然。另一個是「我不確定，但是...」是的。哦，抱歉。只是一個快速問題。
>> Yeah. >> Or um this might sound a little dumb or this might sound weird, but >> Yeah, >> that one all the time.
是的。或者嗯這可能聽起來有點蠢或這可能聽起來很奇怪，但是...是的，我一直都在說那個。
>> Yeah. >> I feel like we put I'm sorry in front of everything because we don't want to come off too brash.
是的。我覺得我們把「對不起」放在所有事情前面因為我們不想顯得太粗魯。
>> Yeah. And it doesn't have to literally be the word sorry. It's just all of these like hedging words. They're all in the same category. And every time you
是的。而且它不必真的是「對不起」這個詞。只是所有這些委婉詞。它們都在同一類別。每次你
lead with one of these phrases, you're undermining your own authority. And there's even a study in psychological science that says women apologize 37% more than men.
用這些短語開頭，你在削弱自己的權威。甚至有一項《心理科學》的研究說女性道歉比男性多 37%。
>> Yeah, I'm not surprised. That sounds about right.
是的，我不驚訝。聽起來差不多。
>> But women don't apologize more because we're actually more sorry. It's because we're conditioned to feel like we need to apologize, right? And conversely, men don't apologize less because they're
但女性道歉更多不是因為我們真的更抱歉。是因為我們被調教去感覺我們需要道歉，對吧？相反地，男性道歉更少不是因為他們
less sorry. It's just because they don't consider themselves to have done things wrong. It's more so that women are always in a default state of self-monitoring.
更自大或更自私。他們只是不會為不是他們的錯的事情感到有義務道歉。
>> Mhm. >> It's it's like you have a lot of self-vigilance around yourself that is not as common with with men in western society.
那麼我們該怎麼辦？我們有一個工具給你叫做REPS框架。R-E-P-S。
>> That sucks. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I feel like I have felt that in myself like that narrative in my mind.
R 代表 Replace。用更強的短語替換弱的短語。所以不要說「對不起打擾你」，而是說「你有一分鐘嗎？」
So that's why I like subconsciously or unconsciously say sorry more often.
E 代表 Evaluate。在你說話之前評估你是否真的需要道歉。問問自己，我做錯什麼了嗎？
Well, and it is definitely trained in girls from a very young age because think about the most common thing that's like written on progress reports or or report cards like Gene is very
如果答案是否定的，不要道歉。
conscientious, right? But what is conscient? If you're trained of others >> if you're trained to be rewarded for being conscientious, it turns into self monitoring over time. That's what you're
P 代表 Pause。在你說話之前暫停。這給你時間收集你的想法並避免說出委婉詞。
rewarded for that sort of behavior. And it turns into this kind of like underlying subconscious level of selfigence your entire life.
S 代表 State。直接陳述你的觀點。不要用「我可能錯了，但是」開頭。只需說「這是我的建議」或「這是我所想的」。
>> Yeah. And some examples of how this might also sound like sorry if this sounds weird or like sorry just like can I say something?
我喜歡這個框架。它很簡單也很實用。讓我們進入框架二。
>> It comes out in very small ways but it makes a really big impact when you say those things. It's kind of like a pre-rejection. like you're rejecting yourself because you're saying these
是的。第二個習慣是低估你的成就。這是當你在團隊會議上得到認可但你說「哦，這沒什麼」或「這是團隊的努力」。
statements before someone else can think what you're saying is actually sorry worthy if that makes sense.
是的我一直這樣做。我覺得這是因為我們被教導要謙虛。
>> You're undermining whatever comes after that. You're undermining your idea, >> right? Like they can't take you seriously or they won't take you seriously just because you've said the sorry or the pre-qualifying statement.
但謙虛和低估自己是有區別的。謙虛是承認別人對你成功的貢獻。低估是貶低你自己的貢獻。
>> Yeah. And it's actually so ironic because the reason you're saying that is to make other people feel better. to make the people who are receiving your your message or receiving your idea to
研究表明女性比男性更不可能因為自己的想法邀功。這導致更少的晉升和更少的認可。
have them feel more comfortable. >> Yeah. And I feel like we're talking about it in the workplace or the professional space, but it also happens in relationships as well, especially in
那麼我們該怎麼辦？這是工具。叫做 I-W-I 框架。I-W-I。
dating when you don't feel like you have the ability to take up space or to voice your thoughts. Mhm. I actually have seen this from a very young age. From the
第一個 I 代表 I led。不要說「我們做了X」，而是說「我領導了這個專案」或「我開發了這個策略」。
very first job that I had, which was remember I was an intern for a ocean preservation nonprofit company.
W 代表 What specifically。具體說明你做了什麼。不要含糊。說「我領導了產品發布，協調了三個團隊並在截止日期前交付」。
>> Yeah. Slay. >> Yes. Slay. Slay queen.
第二個 I 代表 Impact。總是談論你工作的影響。說「這導致了 20% 的收入增長」或「這為公司節省了 10 萬美元」。
>> My boss, she was actually the director of the entire company. She ran everything. She was like so so important. And every time she asked me to do something, she would say sorry.
我喜歡這個。這是關於具體並量化你的影響。讓我們進入框架三。
She'd be like, "Oh, sorry. Do you mind doing this?" Or like, "Oh, thank you so much." She would say sorry and then she would say thank you like 50 times for in
是的。第三個習慣是過度解釋。這是當你繼續說話因為你覺得你需要證明你的觀點。
advance and I was just literally a minion. I was a nobody and she was so so so both apologetic and appreciative at the same time. It was >> confusing.
你給出三個原因而不是一個。你繼續解釋直到你確定每個人都理解了。
>> It was it was just kind of her mode of work. And I understand why she was that way because she was raised in that environment where she had to couch her
但過度解釋實際上削弱了你的信息。它讓你看起來不確定。它稀釋了你觀點的力量。
words that way. >> Interesting. But she was the first basically corporate manager or like corporate leader I had ever worked with. And so I kind of modeled myself after her subconsciously
是的這是女性經常做的事情。我們覺得我們需要證明自己。但說得越多實際上讓我們看起來越不自信。
where I was like, "Oh, this is how you know women are supposed to behave in the workplace. This is like I don't even think I said that to myself like in
那麼工具是什麼？叫做 O-P-S 框架。O-P-S。
those words, but that was just what I learned." So going into work that was kind of also how I behaved from the very beginning.
O 代表 One point。說一個觀點，然後停止。不要覺得你需要用三個不同的方式說同一件事。
>> Well, it's interesting because she's also I know who you're talking about.
P 代表 Pause。說完你的觀點後暫停。讓它停留。不要用更多的話填補沉默。
But she's also of a different generation. >> Yes, >> she's older and I can see that like if she is one of the few women working in her job in that organization that like
S 代表 Stop。當你完成時停止說話。不要繼續。不要為你的觀點道歉或為它辯護。
you have to come off a certain way. But like nowadays I feel like it's times have changed like like that's actually super harmful to have that sort of um approach.
我喜歡這個。它是關於簡潔和自信。讓我們進入額外習慣。
>> Yeah. But like think about all of the women who are my age who grew up under women. Exactly. women of that generation where that's how you subconsciously were
是的這是我們一直在談論的。這真的很有毒。額外習慣是詢問許可。
trained to behave in the workplace and it just kind of is like self-perpetuating generation after generation until you watch this podcast.
這是當你說「可以我說一下嗎？」或「我可以問一個問題嗎？」或「如果我...你介意嗎？」
>> Until you watch this podcast where we're giving you the hard time break the chain.
我一直這樣做。我甚至沒有意識到我在做這件事直到我們開始研究這一集。
>> Yeah. The intergenerational trauma of >> of apologizing >> of apologizing. Learning to apologize at home, at work, in relationships.
是的這太陰險了因為它感覺像是禮貌。但實際上是在請求許可來做你有權利做的事情。
Apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for.
你不需要請求許可來分享你的想法或問問題。你有權利這樣做。
>> Mhm. Okay. Okay, so how do we actually reframe all of this? How do we address this? So the answer is don't apologize.
那麼我們該怎麼辦？工具是直接說。不要說「可以我說一下嗎？」直接說「這是我的想法」。
Instead, you should clarify and then lead from there. So here are some examples. So instead of saying I'm sorry I'm late, you could say hey, thank you for waiting. Or instead of saying sorry
不要說「我可以問一個問題嗎？」直接問問題。「這個時間表是什麼？」「你對這個怎麼想？」
to bother you, you could say, hey, do you have a moment? Or instead of saying, oh, sorry if that's confusing, you say, let me be more clear. Yeah, I like these
這是一個小改變但它會產生很大的影響。它讓你立即顯得更自信和有權威。
because you can kind of see how often they show up in your own vocabulary and how often that you're speaking. And I instead of saying sorry I'm late, I
讓我們回顧一下我們今天學到的。我們學了四個正在傷害你職業的習慣。
always go for the alternative of thank you for waiting because it shifts it into a moment of gratitude and also you just take out the word I'm sorry.
第一：道歉反射。用更強的短語替換委婉語言。用 REPS 框架。
>> Yeah. And then people are like oh you're welcome.
第二：低估你的成就。用 I-W-I 框架為你的工作邀功。
>> Yeah. They feel good. >> Yeah. They feel good. I think that's actually a really good one. If you were to start with one and you wanted to sort
第三：過度解釋。說一個觀點然後停止。用 O-P-S 框架。
of monitor yourself in a way or at least try to take account of how often you are saying sorry. This is a really good one.
第四：詢問許可。直接說話。你不需要請求許可來分享你的想法。
>> Yeah. Another one that I personally use and love is more in like personal relationships and not really at work.
我喜歡這些框架。它們非常實用。我今天就要開始使用它們。
It's like if you're like venting to someone instead of being like, "I'm sorry I'm such a burden." Or, "I'm sorry for like venting. I'm sorry for going on and on. I'm stressed.
是的練習是關鍵。你練習得越多就會變得越自然。
>> I'm sorry for being a downer. >> I'm sorry for being a downer." You just say, "Thank you for listening." >> Or like, "I really appreciate you listening." And that's like another way
如果你喜歡這一集，請訂閱 Tiger Sisters 播客。在 Spotify 和 Apple Podcasts 上給我們五星評價。
to say thank you instead of I'm sorry.
分享就是關愛。感謝收聽。我們下次見。
Like >> that's a really good Yeah. >> I do that all the time when I'm venting. Yeah. Be like, "Oh, I I really appreciate >> I really appreciate you listening." Yeah.
拜拜。
>> And they feel good, too. They're like, "Yeah, I listen." >> That's a good phrase.
他們也覺得很好。他們會說「是啊，我有在聽。」這是個好用的說法。
>> It's one I think I don't use enough, >> but it's almost like you need to practice saying it. Like, "I appreciate you listening." Cuz it feels a little
我覺得我用得不夠多，但好像需要練習說。像是「謝謝你願意聽。」因為一開始說起來有點
awkward to say at first or like it feels a little bit formal, but I think >> I appreciate you listening.
尷尬，或感覺有點正式，但我覺得——謝謝你願意聽。
>> No, you can just say, "Thank you for listening." >> Or like it it's kind of awkward, but after after you've gone on a rant, you're like, >> "Hey, man. Thanks for listening.
不，你可以直接說「謝謝你聽我說。」或者是有點尷尬，但在你抱怨完之後，你可以說「嘿，謝謝你聽我說。」
>> Hey dude. >> Hey girl. >> Hey dude. Thanks for listening.
嘿老兄。嘿女孩。嘿老兄。謝謝你聽我說。
>> I'm just like, "Thanks for listening." >> Yeah.
我就說「謝謝你聽我說。」是啊。
>> You do one of those smiles. >> You know, like, "Thanks for listening." >> You're welcome.
你露出那種微笑。你知道的，像是「謝謝你聽我說。」不客氣。
>> Yeah. And as you guys know, we have many exercises throughout this episode. So, you can take what you're learning in this episode and applying it right now
是啊。你們知道的，這集有很多練習。所以你可以把學到的東西立刻應用
as you watch. So the first mini exercise we have for you is to write down three of these sorry phrases that you find yourself saying quite often whether it's
在觀看的同時。第一個小練習是寫下三個你常說的「抱歉」用語，不管是
in an email like you write it out or if it's in a meeting you say it out loud or even like when you text someone like it can come out very quickly and
在郵件裡寫出來，或在會議中說出來，甚至傳訊息時，它很快就會脫口而出，而且是
unconsciously. So now rewrite these I'm sorry phrases and rewrite them in the confident and direct alternatives that we gave you. And so instead of saying I'm sorry, it can be showing a moment of
無意識的。現在重新寫這些「抱歉」用語，用我們給你的自信直接的替代說法改寫。不說「抱歉」，可以表達
gratitude or some of the alternatives that Gan provided.
感謝或 Gan 提供的其他替代說法。
>> Yeah. And definitely try this exercise because this one small shift can totally change how you're perceived and not just by others, but also by yourself. Okay.
是啊。一定要做這個練習，因為這一個小改變可以完全改變別人對你的看法，不只是別人，也包括你自己。好。
Next up is a really good framework. This is all about the ways that we shrink ourselves in order to be liked. But first, a quick break before we dive in.
接下來是一個很好的框架。這是關於我們為了被喜歡而縮小自己的方式。但首先，在我們深入之前先休息一下。
This episode of Tiger Sisters is brought to you by ReadAI. Yes, and it's not just another notetaker. It's like an AI co-pilot that can read, transcribe, and summarize your meeting notes. It reads
這集 Tiger Sisters 由 ReadAI 贊助。是的，它不只是筆記軟體。它像是 AI 副駕駛，可以閱讀、轉錄和總結你的會議筆記。它能讀取
the energy and vibe of your meetings to give you the next smart steps. I'm obsessed because it's like having a chief of staff that manages your inbox, your work meetings, basically your
你會議的能量和氛圍，給你下一步的聰明行動。我超愛它，因為就像有個幕僚長管理你的收件匣、工作會議，基本上是你的
entire work life. Yeah. Last week, I missed a meeting and I was able to type, "What did I miss?" and ReadAI was able to give me the top takeaways, the key
整個工作生活。是啊。上週我錯過了一個會議，我可以輸入「我錯過了什麼？」然後 ReadAI 給了我重點摘要、關鍵
points, and also the sentiment. It was kind of like magic. And it works across Gmail, Teams, Notion, Salesforce, Zoom, basically wherever you do your work. And
要點，還有情緒分析。有點像魔法。它適用於 Gmail、Teams、Notion、Salesforce、Zoom，基本上你工作的任何地方。而且
you know me, I never give apps access to my Gmail because that's super private.
你知道的，我從不讓 app 存取我的 Gmail，因為那是超私密的。
But I actually made an exception for ReadAI because I personally know the founder, David Shim, because we used to work together at Snapchat. And you guys might remember, we actually interviewed
但我為 ReadAI 破例了，因為我個人認識創辦人 David Shim，我們以前在 Snapchat 一起工作。你們可能記得，我們其實
David Jim on season 3 of Tiger Sisters when he was talking about his new startup, which is actually Reed Aai. And now Reed has over 4 million users. Wow.
在 Tiger Sisters 第三季訪問過 David Jim，當時他在談他的新創公司，就是 Read AI。現在 Read 有超過 400 萬用戶。哇。
>> Wow. And they're giving Tiger Sisters listeners a 30-day enterprise trial, which is worth $30 and that does not require a credit card to sign up. We don't know how long this 30-day free
哇。他們給 Tiger Sisters 聽眾 30 天企業試用，價值 30 美元，註冊不需要信用卡。我們不知道這個 30 天免費
offer is going to last, so if you're at all curious, try it right now. Go to www.read.ai ai/tigeristers for a free 30-day extended trial and you don't need to put in your credit card.
優惠會持續多久，所以如果你有興趣，現在就試試。去 www.read.ai/tigersisters 獲得免費 30 天延長試用，不需要輸入信用卡。
Sign up through our link because then they'll know that we sent you. We're obsessed with ReadAI and we think you're going to love it, too. Okay, so this is
通過我們的連結註冊，這樣他們就知道是我們介紹的。我們超愛 ReadAI，我們覺得你也會喜歡。好，這是
framework number two, shrink to fit. Jean, can you tell us about this? Yeah, so this framework is all about sort of softening yourself so that people are more receptive to your message and even
第二個框架，縮小以適應。Jean，你能告訴我們這個嗎？是啊，這個框架是關於軟化自己讓人們更能接受你的訊息，甚至
receptive to your being, whether it's in dating or at work. This is something that women are doing all the time.
接受你的存在，不管是在約會還是工作中。這是女性一直在做的事。
>> Yeah. I hate this because it feels like we're chipping away a part of ourselves to become more palatable or just to become a version that's like more acceptable to other people.
是啊。我討厭這個，因為感覺像是我們在削減自己的一部分，讓自己更容易被接受，或變成一個更被其他人接受的版本。
>> Yeah. More vanilla. >> Yeah. But um Michelle Obama has this quote that I love and I actually saw it recently. I'm going to read it word for
是啊。更普通。是啊。但 Michelle Obama 有句話我很喜歡，我最近看到的。我要逐字讀
word. She says, "I have been at every powerful table you can think of and I'm still the most qualified person there." Dude, isn't that so good?
給你聽。她說：「我坐過你能想到的每一個權力桌，而我仍然是那裡最有資格的人。」老兄，這不是超棒嗎？
>> Yeah. >> I mean, she's a boss.
是啊。我是說，她是大姐頭。
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And you forget she used to be Barack Obama's mentor.
是啊。而且你忘了她曾是 Barack Obama 的導師。
>> Yeah. >> That was how they met. She was his like he was her intern, I think, when he first came in or he was her analyst or something like that.
是啊。他們就是這樣認識的。她是他的——我覺得他剛進來時是她的實習生，或是她的分析師之類的。
>> Yeah. >> Okay. So, the way that shrink to fit actually shows up in your day-to-day is like qualifying your thoughts, staying silent in meetings, or even downplaying your own achievements. And there is
是啊。好。所以縮小以適應在日常生活中的表現是，像是限定你的想法、在會議中保持沉默，或淡化你的成就。有
research from Yale that even backs this up. And it shows that women who self-promote often are penalized socially even when they outperform.
耶魯的研究支持這一點。它顯示自我推銷的女性經常受到社會懲罰，即使她們表現更好。
>> Yeah, I hate that, but it's so true. But it makes sense then why as women we're doing this thing where we're softening ourselves and we downplay our
是啊，我討厭這個，但這太真實了。但這就說得通了，為什麼作為女性我們會軟化自己並淡化我們的
achievements because we don't want to be penalized socially, right? Like so if you have even an ounce of self-awareness or you're able to read the room, you're naturally going to be conditioned to do
成就，因為我們不想受到社會懲罰，對吧？所以如果你有一點自我意識或能讀懂氣氛，你自然會被制約去做
exactly that. Okay, Sheree, so do you have any examples of this that you can share with us?
這件事。好，Sheree，你有這方面的例子可以分享嗎？
>> Yeah, so when I first started working, my first job out of school, I was 22. I was pretty green. Um, I was a product manager and working with a lot of
是啊，當我剛開始工作時，我的第一份工作，畢業時我 22 歲。我很菜。我是產品經理，和很多
engineers. I was really concerned with being liked more than respected. And now, like when I'm working with like a team of people or engineers, like I'm able to say like what is the timeline?
工程師一起工作。我更在乎被喜歡而不是被尊重。現在，當我和團隊或工程師一起工作時，我可以說「時間表是什麼？」
Like that's a very normal thing to say.
這是很正常的問題。
But like me, when I was 22, I was like so nervous about stepping on people's toes or coming off the wrong way or coming off demanding. thing. I'd be like
但我 22 歲時，我很緊張怕踩到別人的腳趾或給人錯誤印象或顯得太強勢。我會
I'd ask my engineering team. I'd be like, "So, like, when do you think um you can kind of get this done?" And they'd be like, "Five weeks." And I'd be
問我的工程團隊。我會說「所以，你覺得什麼時候可以完成這個？」他們會說「五週。」我就
like, "Oh, um, okay. Like, let me let me get back to you on that." Like, I was just like so like now I'd be like, "Five weeks? Like, why not two?" Like, it's
說「喔，好。讓我回覆你。」我就是那麼——現在我會說「五週？為什麼不是兩週？」這是
something I would like ask now. And like feel like I would be in my power and also in my right as like a product manager to ask that like it was in my
我現在會問的問題。我會覺得我有權力，而且作為產品經理我有權這樣問，這是我的
responsibility to actually be working with them on the timelines and negotiating and all that stuff. So like my own performance suffered as a result of me wanting to be liked.
責任，實際上要和他們一起處理時間表、談判和所有這些事情。所以我的績效因為我想被喜歡而受損。
>> Yeah. And the context I think is that that was your job. Like that was your whole job as the product manager is to deliver the project or the product on time.
是啊。背景是那是你的工作。那是你作為產品經理的全部工作，就是按時交付專案或產品。
>> Yeah. >> So like that's actually a very natural tension that's meant to be built into the roles or like the interaction between the engineering team and the
是啊。所以那其實是一種自然的張力，是設計在角色中的，或工程團隊和
product team. But like if you're young and especially if you're a woman and I was working on a very like a male-dominated field, a male dominated team and they were perfectly nice and
產品團隊之間的互動。但如果你年輕，特別是如果你是女性，而且我在一個男性主導的領域、男性主導的團隊工作，他們人都很好
but like I just couldn't bring myself. It's not like we're like fighting with each other. It wasn't that they weren't mean, but like I just couldn't even bring myself when I was like pretty
但我就是沒辦法。不是說我們在吵架。不是說他們很壞，但我就是沒辦法，當我還很
young in my career to like kind of stand up for myself and ask for what I needed.
年輕時，在職涯中站出來為自己爭取我需要的東西。
And as a result, I just wasn't doing my job. the even like the sublevel or sub layer of context under that is that you also knew the answer because you studied
結果就是我沒做好我的工作。更深一層的背景是你其實知道答案，因為你學過
computer science. So it's not like you were coming in and you were just completely relying on them to provide the the costing or the swag of how you
電腦科學。所以不是說你進來完全依賴他們提供成本估算或
know how long a project would take. You already had an idea yourself.
你知道專案要多久。你自己已經有想法了。
>> So like you had the context to judge if the answer was right or not. But then you were still too I guess scared or conditioned >> Yeah. I was to push back.
所以你有背景可以判斷答案對不對。但你還是太——我猜是害怕或被制約——是啊。我是——去反駁。
>> I was like nervous to push back. Mhm.
我很緊張不敢反駁。嗯。
>> And for like my first like few months on the job and then I mean now it's something that comes second nature and I feel more confident in myself and more
前幾個月工作時是這樣，現在這是第二天性了，我對自己更有信心，對我的要求也更有信心
confident in my asks but that's not how I felt when I was really young in my career.
但當我還很年輕時不是這樣的。
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. I think we've all been in situations whether it's at work or in our personal lives where we've felt the need to change some part of ourselves to
是啊。我覺得我們都有過這樣的情況，不管是在工作還是個人生活中，我們覺得需要改變自己的某些部分來
be liked. But ultimately the biggest show of respect selfrespect is being authentically yourself. Ultimately, what I've learned over the 15 plus years of my career is that it is more important
被喜歡。但最大的尊重表現，自尊，是做真實的自己。最終，我在 15 年以上的職涯中學到的是，被尊重比
to be respected than it is to be liked.
被喜歡更重要。
And a big part of that bucket of respected is also your self-respect.
而被尊重的很大一部分也包括你的自尊。
Also, being liked is pretty fleeting. Like it doesn't last. Like tomorrow they could like you, the next day they cannot like you. But like respect is something that lasts.
而且被喜歡是很短暫的。不會持久。今天他們可能喜歡你，明天可能不喜歡。但尊重是會持續的。
>> Yeah. Okay. So, next up we have our mini exercise for you and take a moment to really reflect and ask yourselves these questions. Number one, where in your
是啊。好。接下來是我們的小練習，花點時間好好反思並問自己這些問題。第一，你生活中哪裡
life are you minimizing your ambition to make the people around you feel more comfortable?
在最小化你的野心來讓週圍的人感覺更舒服？
>> And again, that can be at work or in dating, especially for ambitious women.
同樣，那可以是在工作或約會中，特別是對有野心的女性。
Number two, what's one thing you're proud of that you haven't owned out loud? And I love this part of the mini exercise because I feel like there's so
第二，有什麼你引以為傲但還沒大聲說出來的事？我很喜歡這部分的小練習，因為我覺得有很
many things that like we we're excited about and we're proud of that we just haven't said. A lot of times when people ask us about um like where do you see
多我們興奮和驕傲的事我們就是沒說出來。很多時候當人們問我們 Tiger Sisters 要往哪裡發展
Tiger Sisters going and because we have such huge outsiz massive ambitions for the company a lot of times I will before I actually say what our ambitions are
因為我們對公司有這麼大的野心，很多時候在我說出我們的野心之前
I'll be like oh well you know like this might seem a little bit crazy or like this might seem a little bit outside of the norm.
我會說「喔，你知道，這可能聽起來有點瘋狂」或「這可能有點不尋常」。
>> It's out there. >> I know it's so out there.
很誇張。我知道超誇張。
>> Yeah. Exactly. I'll be like, "Oh, this might seem a little crazy, so I don't tell everyone, but these are our goals.
是啊。沒錯。我會說「喔，這可能聽起來有點瘋狂，所以我不告訴每個人，但這是我們的目標。
This is our mission." Like, so I kind of >> I do realize that I'm doing that even when I talk about our ambitions. And like to be honest, our ambitions are not
這是我們的使命。」所以我確實意識到即使談論我們的野心時我也在這樣做。老實說，我們的野心沒有
that crazy cuz like if you look at what we've achieved, now I'm doing the second part of it, one thing you're proud of that you haven't owned out loud, but
那麼瘋狂，因為如果你看我們達成了什麼，現在我在做第二部分，你引以為傲但還沒大聲說出來的事，但
like if you looked at what we've achieved in one year where we hit number one business podcast >> Yeah. in the United States like >> that's insane. Like >> from from nothing.
如果你看我們一年內達成了什麼，我們成為美國第一名商業 podcast——是啊——這太瘋狂了。從零開始。
>> I actually found myself doing that yesterday too. I was having a coffee chat with someone and when they asked me where the I see Tiger sisters going, I
我昨天也發現自己這樣做了。我在和人喝咖啡聊天，當他們問我 Tiger Sisters 要往哪裡發展時，我
was just like I know this sounds cheesy but >> yeah.
就說「我知道這聽起來很老套但——」是啊。
>> And so like I actually did it yesterday and then I kicked myself cuz I'm like after I it came out of my mouth I was just like that's not cheesy. This is
所以我昨天確實這樣做了，然後我踢了自己一腳，因為說出口後我就想這不老套。這就是
what I mean. Like I want to stand in my in my dreams and ambitions and power.
我的意思。我想堅定地站在我的夢想和野心和力量中。
But then like it came out of my mouth and I was like, you know, >> cuz you hadn't done this mini exercise yet.
但它就脫口而出了，我想，你知道——因為你還沒做這個小練習。
>> Exactly. So now >> because you hadn't done this episode yet.
沒錯。所以現在——因為你還沒做這集。
>> Well, I'm going to take that out of my vocabulary cuz I'm going to stop like couching my >> Right. Couching, that's the word.
好，我要把那從我的詞彙中刪掉，因為我要停止——對。掩飾，那是那個詞。
>> My dreams and ambitions cuz they are what they are and they're big and exciting. One of the reasons why I said it was cheesy is because like there is
我的夢想和野心，因為它們就是它們，很大很令人興奮。我說老套的原因之一是因為有
1% of me that's like kind of scared to say it out loud too. Totally. because I'm like, "Yeah, I don't know if this is going to work, but like here's my big
1% 的我有點害怕大聲說出來。完全。因為我想「是啊，我不知道這會不會成功，但這是我的大
awesome dream and ambition." >> Oh, it's just little old me started this podcast.
棒的夢想和野心。」喔，只是小小的我開了這個 podcast。
>> It's kind of just like a dream, but like, so I think it's also internal, too, that like I believe it, but I'm like also a little bit scared, too.
有點像是一個夢，但，所以我覺得這也是內在的，我相信它，但我也有點害怕。
>> Yes, totally. But that's why the exercise is good to even just say it out loud to yourself in your bedroom. It's kind of like putting a little bit of
是的，完全。但這就是為什麼這個練習很好，即使只是在你房間裡對自己大聲說出來。就像是把一點
power. It's putting it out into the universe, you know? I believe in that.
力量放出去。放進宇宙裡，你知道嗎？我相信這個。
Well, also if you guys would like to share them in the comments, like something that you haven't said out loud that you're proud of, like we would love to celebrate you
好，如果你們想在評論中分享，你還沒說出來但引以為傲的事，我們很想為你慶祝
>> and respond to your comments and like it and cheer you on cuz we're on this journey with you as well. So, >> drop a comment below and we'd love to
並回覆你的評論、按讚、為你加油，因為我們也在這個旅程上。所以在下面留言，我們很想
celebrate you. Okay, so now moving on to our third framework. It is asking for permission. And this is something that people do all the time in your meetings, in your emails, in your one-on-one
為你慶祝。好，現在進入第三個框架。是尋求許可。這是人們一直在會議、郵件、一對一
relationships. Okay, so this one's pretty personal. I once had a manager tell me, "You are one of the most qualified people in this room. So why are you still asking for permission?"
關係中做的事。好，這個比較私人。我曾經有個經理告訴我「你是這間房間裡最有資格的人之一。那你為什麼還在尋求許可？」
>> And he was right because I had internalized this idea that speaking with certainty would make me unlikable.
他說得對，因為我內化了這個想法，認為有把握地說話會讓我不討人喜歡。
>> Mhm. >> But the truth is, no one follows a maybe. So that's why we say things instead like, "Oh, I think maybe we could try this." But you know, we all
嗯。但事實是，沒人會追隨「也許」。所以這就是為什麼我們說「喔，我想也許我們可以試試這個。」但你知道，我們都
know that leaders don't float ideas, they deliver decisions. And asking for permission often shows up as overexlaining, over contextualizing, or things that sound like a question when they're actually a statement,
知道領導者不是提出想法，他們是做決定。尋求許可通常表現為過度解釋、過度提供背景，或聽起來像問題但其實是陳述的話，
>> right? And you don't have to go all the way in the opposite direction. Like we're not saying bulldoze over people in meetings, right? But we're saying speak with conviction. Own your voice.
對吧？你不必走向另一個極端。我們不是說在會議中碾壓別人，對吧？但我們是說有信念地說話。擁有你的聲音。
>> This is actually really hitting a nerve with me because I feel like I was someone who would overexlain things.
這真的觸動了我，因為我覺得我是那種會過度解釋事情的人。
Yeah. Like even in like friendships or relationships or like, "Hey, I can't make the barbecue on Saturday because explanation one, explanation two, explanation three." When like obviously like if it's a close friend, you're
是啊。甚至在友誼或關係中，像「嘿，我週六不能去烤肉，因為原因一、原因二、原因三。」明明如果是親近的朋友，你
like, "I can't make it for this reason." But like I would just like overexlain because I felt like extra sorry when like they just it was too much and I was
就說「我因為這個原因不能去。」但我會過度解釋，因為我覺得特別抱歉，但這太多了，我
like trying to make up for something. >> Yeah. Because you feel obliged.
像是在彌補什麼。是啊。因為你覺得有義務。
>> Yeah. What I've done for a lot of my career, like looking back on my career, is that I didn't give myself permission to speak up in meetings because I would
是啊。回顧我的職涯，我沒有給自己許可在會議中發言，因為我
hold such a high bar for myself that I felt like, okay, if I'm going to say anything in this meeting, it has to be a completely novel idea that no one else
對自己有很高的標準，我覺得如果我要在會議中說任何話，必須是一個全新的想法，這個會議中沒有其他人
in this meeting would have thought of this concept. And like whatever I say has to like bowl everyone over and they have to be like, "Wow, like that's incredible." Like Yeah. like we never
會想到的概念。而且我說的話必須讓所有人驚豔，他們會說「哇，太棒了。」是啊。像是我們從
would have thought about that and like I have to like say it in a way that is perfectly phrased and so eloquent and like I just put all of these barriers
沒想過這個，而且我必須用完美的措辭說出來，如此優雅，我就是給自己設了所有這些障礙
and like requirements on myself to speak up. I didn't give myself permission to just say what was on my mind.
和要求才能發言。我沒有給自己許可說出我想說的話。
>> Yeah. >> And then like when I think back on the people and the other people in the meeting and all the things they were saying
是啊。然後當我回想會議中的其他人和他們說的所有話
>> 90% of the time I'd be like why are you saying this? This is so obvious. But that's because they were just saying what was on their mind to contribute to
90% 的時間我會想你為什麼說這個？這太明顯了。但那是因為他們只是說出想法來貢獻
the conversation and they didn't place all these really high requirements for themselves to say something that was like mindblowing for everyone else in the meeting.
對話，他們沒有給自己設這些很高的要求，要說出讓會議中其他人都驚豔的話。
>> Yeah. >> And then to make it worse sometimes I would say something and then people wouldn't really like acknowledge it like it wouldn't spark the conversation to go in a certain
是啊。然後更糟的是，有時我會說些什麼，但人們不會真的認可，不會引發對話往某個方向
direction. But then someone else like the VP of engineering would then say the exact same thing like five minutes later and then everyone would be like, "Wait, you're so right." And then they would
發展。但然後其他人，像工程副總裁，會在五分鐘後說同樣的話，然後大家會說「等等，你說得太對了。」然後
that it would start the conversation in that direction. Like that's definitely happened to me before. A lot of women place these like filters or these requirements on themselves to say like
對話就往那個方向發展。這絕對發生在我身上過。很多女性給自己設這些過濾器或要求，要說
the best thing ever when like other people in the room, notably men, don't have that same like selfcensoring that we have. That's number one. Number two, when you do that,
最棒的話，而房間裡的其他人，特別是男性，沒有我們這種自我審查。這是第一點。第二點，當你這樣做時，
>> often times you're like in a spiral of like figuring out what you're going to say in your head that the moment moves on. It's gone. And then you're like
通常你會陷入想著你要說什麼的漩渦，而那個時刻已經過去了。它沒了。然後你
still freaking thinking about this thing and the moment's gone and now you don't even have the opportunity to say this like amazing thought that you are still developing your in your head. So like
還在想這件事，時刻已經過去了，現在你甚至沒有機會說出你腦中還在發展的這個驚人想法。所以
you lose out on the first point and on the second point. I think a happy way to address this, I know the first two are kind of bleak, but like the third is
你在第一點和第二點都輸了。我覺得解決這個問題的一個開心的方法，我知道前兩個有點悲觀，但第三個是
that like if you have because that's happened to me as well, if you have allies in the room, especially if it's a male-dominated room and there are men in
如果你有——因為這也發生在我身上——如果房間裡有盟友，特別是如果是男性主導的房間，有男性
the room who support you. There have been times where I've said something, no one's acknowledged it or like it was a fine thought and then someone else said something like and everyone's like, "Oh
支持你。有時候我說了什麼，沒人認可，或是還不錯的想法，然後別人說了什麼，大家都說「天
my god." And then I've had like my male VP, a guy who's like very much supportive of me. He's just like, "Hey, I think Sheree said that before, but
啊。」然後我的男性副總裁，一個非常支持我的人。他會說「嘿，我覺得 Sheree 之前說過這個，但
like that's also a great point." And then like we move on, but like it was attributed to me as an original thought even when like the head of
這也是個好觀點。」然後我們繼續，但它被歸功於我是原創想法，即使
>> um like X category um said something else.
某某類別的負責人說了其他東西。
>> Yeah. Sadly, that's never happened for me.
是啊。可悲的是，這從沒發生在我身上。
But don't worry, I'm not bitter about it or anything. I've had really good male allies and male mentors that were just men who have been so supportive of my career.
但別擔心，我沒有不高興或什麼的。我有過很好的男性盟友和男性導師，他們對我的職涯非常支持。
>> Back to your point about the moment passing. I think the other thing is that I might be overgeneralizing here, but I'm just speaking from my lived
回到你說的時刻過去的問題。我覺得另一件事是我可能過度概括了，但我只是從我
experience as a woman is that I think because we're grown up and we're raised we're raised to be so conscientious, another part of that is that we feel
作為女性的經歷來說，我覺得因為我們成長過程中被教導要很認真負責，另一部分是我們覺得
like we need to be very prepared. So, I'm sure there's Exactly. There's like a million studies that support this that women are typically compared to men overprepared for any sort of like work
我們需要非常準備好。所以我確定——沒錯。有很多研究支持這一點，女性通常比男性更過度準備任何
situation or even in life like you know making sure you're planning ahead like think making sure things are going to work for everyone. And it it hurts you
工作情況，甚至在生活中，你知道確保你提前計劃，確保事情對每個人都行得通。這會傷害你
when you're in the room because a lot of times you're not going to have the exact perfect stat that you can call on to to make your point, right? But like that
當你在房間裡時，因為很多時候你不會有完美的數據來支持你的觀點，對吧？但
doesn't stop the men, the other people that are in the room from making those points and saying some sort of approximation to get their point across.
這不會阻止男性，房間裡的其他人提出那些觀點並說出某種近似值來表達他們的意思。
So I think that's another thing that holds us back is because we're so trained, we're trained to be so conscientious. We're trained to be so, you know, A+ students that we're like,
所以我覺得另一件阻礙我們的事是因為我們被訓練得非常認真負責。我們被訓練成，你知道，A+ 學生，所以我們會想
wait, I need to say like what is that?
等等，我需要說什麼？
What's that exact number? Like wait, what's the exact stat? Like I need to like back up or like look it up really quickly and frantically look it up on your laptop.
那個確切數字是什麼？那個確切數據是什麼？我需要查一下或在筆電上瘋狂查找。
>> Yeah. like I need to back up what I'm saying instead of just saying the statement without necessarily having the proof right away. And if someone asks
是啊。我需要支持我說的話，而不是直接說出來而不一定馬上有證據。如果有人
you, "Oh, wait, like where'd you get the number from?" You'll be like, "Oh, I'm I'm going to get it after like let me pull it for you right after this
問你「喔等等，數字從哪來的？」你可以說「喔，我會後——讓我會後幫你找一下」
meeting." Like, "Let me find it for you." >> Yeah. Okay. So, if you're watching this video, you're smart, you're driven, you're prepared, oftentimes overprepared. Stop secondguessing yourself and know what you bring to the
「讓我幫你找。」是啊。好。所以如果你在看這個影片，你很聰明、有幹勁、準備好了，通常是過度準備。停止懷疑自己，知道你帶來了什麼
meeting. You bring a lot. like you bring a new perspective and especially if you're on the younger end like you're just starting your career out. You bring like a younger new insight that the
你帶來很多。你帶來新視角，特別是如果你比較年輕，剛開始職涯。你帶來年輕的新見解，
other people like your VPs, your bosses, they don't have that insight. And so stop secondguessing what you're saying and like you're prepared. What you're saying is good. Like say it out loud.
其他人像你的副總裁、老闆，他們沒有那個見解。所以停止懷疑你說的話，你準備好了。你說的是好的。大聲說出來。
>> Mhm. I wish we could go back in time 10 years and have you say that to me.
嗯。真希望我們能回到 10 年前讓你對我說這些。
>> Oh, >> I'm saying it to you now.
喔，我現在對你說了。
>> Thank you. I'll I'll be sure to speak my mind in our next oneonone meeting.
謝謝。我會確保在下次一對一會議中說出我的想法。
>> >> Okay, so let's bring it back to the mini exercise uh which is all about trusting your preparation, trusting your conviction. There's two parts. So one, take one permission seeking phrase that
好，讓我們回到小練習，這是關於相信你的準備、相信你的信念。有兩部分。第一，選一個你常用的尋求許可的說法
you commonly use and then two, practice saying that same idea without hedging or seeking approval. I like this because the more you practice it and saying it
第二，練習說同樣的想法但不猶豫或尋求認可。我喜歡這個，因為你練習得越多，大聲說出來，
out loud, it sounds kind of silly to do, but if you can say it out loud by yourself in your room, it's going to come out much more naturally when it
雖然聽起來有點傻，但如果你能在房間裡對自己大聲說，當真正重要時它會更自然地說出來，
matters and you say it at work or totally in that, you know, conversation that you're having with your boss or with your friend.
當你在工作中說或在和老闆或朋友的對話中說。
>> Yeah. Do the dry runs. >> It's literally a dry run.
是啊。做演練。就是演練。
>> Yeah. >> It sounds silly, but it's necessary.
是啊。聽起來傻，但是必要的。
>> Yeah. >> And finally, we're hitting the bonus framework that you've all been waiting for. This one, it's kind of toxic. It's toxic gratitude. Don't get me wrong, gratitude is really powerful and I
是啊。最後，我們來到你們期待的加分框架。這個有點毒。是毒性感恩。別誤會，感恩真的很強大，我
practice it every day in my life, but it becomes pretty dangerous when it becomes a shield for fear or or unworthiness. It becomes pretty toxic. And so toxic
每天在生活中實踐，但當它變成恐懼或不配得感的盾牌時，它變得很危險。它變得很毒。毒性
gratitude can sound like, I should be grateful I even have this job or this relationship or they didn't have to pick me. I'm so lucky and I'll take whatever
感恩聽起來像是「我應該感恩我有這份工作或這段關係」或「他們不必選我。我很幸運，我會接受任何
I can get. Yeah, that really resonates with me because I definitely think I've I've said those words to myself before and I have stayed in a job for way
我能得到的。」是啊，這很觸動我，因為我絕對說過這些話，我在一份工作裡待了
longer than I should have because I was just so grateful to even get that job in the first place. Like it was my dream role and I was like, "Wow, I can't
太久，因為我太感恩能得到那份工作。那是我的夢想角色，我想「哇，我不敢
believe I'm actually in this job." And then I would use that like gratefulness to sort of paper over all of the things that were deeply deeply wrong.
相信我真的在這份工作裡。」然後我用那種感恩來掩蓋所有深深不對的事情。
>> Yeah. I think it's pretty dangerous because it's disguised as humility >> and because just gratitude has such a positive like you know rap in >> yeah positive connotation but like
是啊。我覺得這很危險，因為它偽裝成謙虛，而且因為感恩有正面的——你知道名聲——是啊正面的含義但
honestly it's just like telling the world like oh I'm just lucky to be here when you deserve to be there.
老實說它就是告訴世界「喔我只是幸運能在這裡」而你值得在那裡。
>> Yeah. It's it's actually a very negative self- messaging in a way. M I guess I just have never thought of gratitude as something that could be toxic. Which is
是啊。這其實是一種非常負面的自我訊息。我猜我從沒想過感恩可以是有毒的。這就是
why I feel like this is the bonus framework that like is blowing our mind that made you shookth because like everyone sees gratitude. You see all these like pop culture things like these
為什麼這是加分框架，讓我們震驚，讓你震驚，因為每個人都看到感恩。你看到這些流行文化的東西像這些
Instagram posts, these podcasts like always be grateful and there's gratitude. But gratitude does come in a pretty negative form when you're just I'm just grateful to be here.
Instagram 貼文、這些 podcast 像是要常懷感恩。但感恩確實有相當負面的形式，當你只是「我只是感恩能在這裡。」
>> Yeah. >> The It kind of reminds me of the concept of like sunk cost in a way.
是啊。這有點讓我想到沉沒成本的概念。
>> What do you mean? >> Where you use the gratitude to justify doing something or like >> doing something or not doing something or to like justify all the things that
什麼意思？你用感恩來為做某事辯護，或——做某事或不做某事或為情況中所有
are actually wrong with the situation. >> You use it to like paper over all of that.
真正錯誤的事情辯護。你用它來掩蓋所有這些。
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. You sound like every single investment banking analyst that ever existed.
是啊。你聽起來像曾經存在的每一個投資銀行分析師。
>> God, that's so toxic. That just gave me flashbacks.
天啊，太毒了。這讓我想起過去。
>> That's so toxic. You're like, I'm so lucky that they chose me. I'm so lucky to be in this position to have this job.
太毒了。你會說「我很幸運他們選了我。我很幸運能在這個位置有這份工作。」
So many other people would kill for this job.
很多其他人會為這份工作拼命。
>> Yeah. I'm like in this like my first job out of school at Goldman, I was like there are literally five analysts in my group worldwide in my year. I am one of
是啊。我在我畢業後的第一份工作，在高盛，我想我那組全球同一年只有五個分析師。我是其中
them. Like how how did I get into this role? I don't even know how to use Excel.
之一。我是怎麼進入這個角色的？我連 Excel 都不會用。
>> I mean that is pretty lucky. >> >> But that's why I remember in that episode when I was talking about like I was always the one that had to photocopy
我是說那確實很幸運。但這就是為什麼我記得在那一集我說我總是那個要影印
and print out and put together all the deal memos. That was what was in my head where I was like, "Well, I'm just lucky to be here."
和列印並整理所有交易備忘錄的人。那就是我腦中想的，「好吧，我只是幸運能在這裡。」
Yeah. If they want me to make the deal memos and they only ever ask me as the only woman on the team, then sure. Or I
是啊。如果他們要我做交易備忘錄，而且他們只問我這個團隊中唯一的女性，那好吧。或者
I don't think I even had that thought. I wasn't even >> self-aware enough >> to to recognize that part or like I knew it deep inside me but I never wanted to
我不認為我當時有那個想法。我甚至沒有——沒有足夠的自我意識——去認識到那部分，或者我內心深處知道但我從不想
confront it because >> I was like I don't have the brain space and the brain energy >> or the sleep >> to have one more thought.
面對它，因為——我沒有腦力空間和腦力能量——或睡眠——去多想一件事。
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But now 15 years later on a podcast here you are confronting it.
是啊。但現在 15 年後在 podcast 上你在面對它了。
>> Yeah. Confront yourself guys. >> Confront yourself.
是啊。面對你自己。面對你自己。
All righty Jean. So should we wrap up?
好了 Jean。我們該總結了嗎？
So today guys we talked about three ways that women sabotage themselves. plus the one bonus one about toxic gratitude. And let's review them quickly. So the first
今天我們談了女性自我破壞的三種方式。加上關於毒性感恩的加分內容。讓我們快速回顧。第一
one is the sorry reflex. The second one is shrinking to fit. The third one was asking for permission. And then the fourth one we just talked about is toxic gratitude. But after watching this
個是抱歉反射。第二個是縮小以適應。第三個是尋求許可。第四個我們剛談的是毒性感恩。但看完這
episode, you have the ability to rewrite your own role in all of this. And so here are some power moves to try this week. So number one, remove sorry from
集之後，你有能力重寫你在這一切中的角色。這裡有一些這週可以嘗試的力量行動。第一，從
your vocabulary. Number two, speak one unfiltered truth. And number three, own one win without shrinking it. And we would love for you to share your win in the comments. Like we said before, we're
你的詞彙中移除抱歉。第二，說一個未經過濾的真相。第三，擁有一個勝利而不縮小它。我們很想讓你在評論中分享你的勝利。像我們之前說的，我們
so excited to celebrate you. >> And if you guys were shookth at any part of this episode, then please share this episode with one of your friends or many
很興奮為你慶祝。如果你在這集的任何部分感到震驚，請把這集分享給你的一個朋友或很多
of your friends who need to stop apologizing for their brilliance. And please remember to like, comment, and subscribe because when you subscribe, you are notified when the latest episode
需要停止為自己的才華道歉的朋友。請記得按讚、留言和訂閱，因為當你訂閱時，你會在最新一集
drops of Tiger Sisters. Thanks for watching. Bye.
Tiger Sisters 上架時收到通知。感謝觀看。拜拜。